“Look out, everybody, things are about to get awesome!”
Spatula Khan was once the greatest chef on Pandora until the Weenie Emperor rose to power, usurping Spatula Khan's throne with brown mustard and deceit. Apparently, the Weenie Emperor's supposed "gourmet" skag-meat hotdogs were made of dead skin and toenail clippings. Spatula Khan now lives out his days in The Flavor Cave, located on The Unrelatively Unvisited Shoreline in the Unassuming Docks. His cave is adorned with his memories of the past, his spatula hung on the wall, and pictures of him in his youth, dressed in armor and wielding a mighty spatula.
- "Do you follow the way of the great spatula? Has your palate experienced genocidal warfare?"
- "If you are afraid to eat something, do not eat it. If you are eating something, don't be afraid."
- "I am the punishment of the food gods. If your taste buds had not committed great sins, the gods would not have sent a chef like me upon you!"
- "You may have heard of me. I am he who brought the armies of Tantalus to their knees with but a single souffle! I have defeated demons by pleasing their palates with the power of a thousand filet mignons! I invented the MEGA-Sandwich! I am SPATULA KHAN!"
- Spatula Khan makes a brief appearance in the main game, depicted as line-art graffiti on an interior wall of Ellie's Garage in The Dust.
- This same line art appears in Dragon Keep, on the north-facing side of the top-most level. It may be viewed by jumping over and following the edge of the parapet surrounding the tower. Along with Spatula Khan's sketch, a ledge here bears a few loot containers that when opened prove to be empty.
- A khan is a title given to rulers from Turkey and Eastern Europe through Central Asia and South Asia.