Post-Crumpocalyptic is an optional mission in Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep. Adventurers should never set forth on an expedition to go fighting on an empty stomach, and Tina's taste for crumpets ensures that the travel rations of heroes are full of wholesome, buttery nutrition.
- Collect crumpets in Flamerock Refuge: 0/3
- Collect crumpets in Docks of Little Importance: 0/3
- Collect crumpets in The Forest: 0/3
- Collect crumpets in Mines of Avarice: 0/3
- Collect crumpets in Lair of Infinite Agony: 0/3
This mission starts as a simple retrieval run through Flamerock Refuge and can be done in conjunction with other town missions. The crumpet locations roughly coincide with places in the story, so provided that a return trip to the Unassuming Docks is conducted before proceeding into The Forest, the crumpets can be collected as the story progresses.
One plate of crumpets in the Flamerock Outskirts is dug out of a bones pile right next to a tree in the area patrolled by spiders. Another one is found in the Perception Overlook area resting on a crate, close to the gates to The Forest. The third is on a ledge under a house opposite to the Murderlin's Temple entrance. The only way to reach it is a precarious tightrope walk along a steel cable anchored to a cliff in front of the Saucy Stallion Inn.
The next crumpet hunt is in the Unassuming Docks where various skeletons are staged in the vicinity of every crumpet find. The closest crumpet to Flamerock Refuge is on a raised position on a house in the Hamlet of Swift Passing Through. It can be accessed by dropping down from the rocks above onto the roof, before dropping down to the platform. Skeletons, including Mister Boney Pants Guy, line the way to the second crumpet. Looking to the north from the platform where the first plate with crumpets was found, a small pier with a house at its end can be seen. A nearby door opens for a skeleton ambush, and crumpet hunters may be surprised by the sight of a badass skeleton bearing down on them along the docks. The final plate of crumpets in the area is through two battles between solitary Rock Golems and packs of skeletons in the Forlorn Ruins. The first confrontation can be largely bypassed at a sprint, although the second is near the plate and a dice chest that are easier to investigate with all foes vanquished.
The Forest is the third area scoured for crumpets, and Old Glenn the Blacksmith's Cottage is the site of another crumpet retrieval, this time in a bucket that must be winched up from the well. Treants are the primary inhabitants of the cottage grounds. Another plate of crumpets can be found with a corpse in a hollow at Blood Tree Camp. This is also a spider lair, and the spiders will be immediately hostile to anyone daring to reach the plate. More crumpets can be found in a gibbet in an area heavily populated with orcs. Shooting the connection between the frame and the supporting cable will bring down the gibbet, and bring the crumpet within reach.
More crumpets lie scattered about the Mines of Avarice. The first two are at Camp Dwarf Torture. One is in a suspended cage that can be lowered to within reach by destroying explosive barrel in the other cage which serves as a counterweight. The other one is in a minecart that will run off down the slope on its rails when approached. Although the location of the crumpet can move significantly, the retrieval remains a simple matter of plucking it out of the cart. The last one is on a suspended platform at Wizard's Crossing that can be accessed by dropping down onto it from the ledge above.
The Lair of Infinite Agony has more crumpets to find. The first is on a protrusion halfway up the first elevator shaft to Crawler Hall near the start of the level. To reach it requires first activating the elevator platform, and then either dropping onto the ledge from above or snatching the crumpets in transit while the platform moves past. The second is on a raised ledge in Death Quencher Well, which can be accessed simply by ascending a ladder up to it. The final plate of crumpets is in the deep shaft at Wailer Drop. This is near the end of the level and accessed more expediently from Dragon Keep, so players may wish to open access to Dragon Keep before going back for the crumpets. The crumpets are again positioned precariously on a ledge and requires a careful drop from above to reach.
- "Crumpets. Cookies. Cupcakes. These are the foods of heroes."
Turn In: Ellie
- Mission Item: Crumpet - "Buttery. Nutritious. Crunk."
- There is a discoverable Vault symbol in the alcove behind the plate of crumpets at Wailer Drop in the Lair of Infinite Agony.
- The name of the mission is a throwback to a line of dialogue spoken by Tina during You Are Cordially Invited: Party Prep where Tina mentions a "crumpocalypse."
- During the mission, Tina inadvertently indicates that her diet since her parents' deaths only consisted of crumpets. Worrying about her health, the three original Vault Hunters promptly force-feed her a salad.