Borderlands Wiki
Borderlands Wiki

Mal is a loader in the Eridium Blight that seeks help in becoming a "real boy," and can be fought at the end of the mission chain. After Mal is defeated, his reward is a Fibber pistol.




Main article: A Real Boy: Human


  • "Hi! I'm human! I eat food, and desire things! I'm in credit card debt and have a wife for whom I feel nothing!"
  • "I cannot wait to be human so that other humans can discriminate against me due to physical or mental conditions I was born with!"
  • "When I am human, I will never ever think about the black void of nothingness that awaits me when I die, because that could take up a lot of my time!"
  • "I can't wait to become human! I'll take showers and tip waiters and get bruises and fold bedsheets and disappoint my loved ones and eat tacos!"
  • "Once I am human I will talk to you about things that are of little or no importance! I will avoid religion and politics because if we disagree, you will not like me any more!"
  • "If you are less fortunate than me, I will pity you! If you are more fortunate, I will secretly loathe you! Humanity!"
  • "I can't wait to get a mortgage!"
  • "As a human, I will seek companionship when alone, but desire solitude after I have found a companion!"
  • "When I'm human I can finally stop being so good at math! Nothing is more boring than being able to multiply 8281 by 933332.454 to get 7728926051.574"
  • "I will say self-deprecating things so that you are indirectly forced to compliment me!"


  • Mal spawns infrequently after his mission chain is complete. He appears when players use the Ore Chasm entrance to the Eridium Blight, but is sometimes absent during vehicular approaches from deeper in the blight.


  • Mal is an allegory of Pinocchio. Pinocchio is a wooden puppet who seeks to be a "real boy". The pawn data of Mal in the game is named PinocchioBot.