- (The Vault Hunters approach a man clad in golden armor around a bonfire)
Sir Gallow: Evil is on the loose! I recently felled a dragon , but could not find a SINGLE gun on its corpse. There is but one explanation: my colleagues are loot ninjas. You must eliminate them and return what they stole!
- (Sir Boil is approached, taken offense to his colleague's bold claim)
Sir Boil: I stole nothing! Sir Gallow has gone mad! MAD, I say!
- (His storate crate is opened)
Sir Boil: I shall not forgive this insult to my honor! Have at you!
- (Once Sir Boil has been defeated)
Sir Gallow: Curious -- he carried no loot. He must not have been the loot ninja. Still, track the other down -- I will have my justice!
- (The campsite of Sir Mash is approached)
Sir Mash: This is utter lunacy! I am no ninja of loot!
- (Upon inspection of a nearby empty tent)
Sir Mash: I have no time for this! to arms!
- (Sir Mash falls in battle, his body carrying no valuables)
Sir Gallow: Accursed luck -- he carried no loot either. Ah, well. It must the final member of my former posse who betrayed me. Of this, I am CERTAIN!
- (Concealed by the mountains, the Vault Hunters find Sir Stew sparring with the rocks)
Sir Stew: I'M STEW!
- (His treasure box is opened. Revealing a crude teddy bear, a can and a red herring with a polka-dot ribbon)
Sir Stew: DIE!
Sir Gallow: LOOT NINJA! Die, HYPOCRITE!
- (Upon Sir Stew's death)
Sir Gallow: What's this, then? He had no loot either? Curious. Nonetheless, you deserve a reward -- return to meeee! Return to me.
- (Returning to Sir Gallow)
Sir Gallow: You're back -- let's get your reward, shall we? Shame about my former colleagues. If none of them were stealing the group's loot, I wonder who was.
Sir Gallow: You may have ONE item from this chest! ONE!
- (Just as Sir Gallow approaches his chest, it transforms into a Mimic)
Sir Gallow: IT WAS THE CHEST ALL ALONG?! OH, THE CRUEL IRONY!
Mr. Torgue: MAN, THAT QUEST WAS DARK AND IRONIC -- A TRUE LOOK INTO THE DUPLICITOUSNESS OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS! NOW COME SEE ME SO YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAID!
- (Turn in)
Mr. Torgue: "DUPLICITOUSNESS"? WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT?!