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Parentheses indicate Krieg's inner voice speaking.

Borderlands 2

When joining a game

  • I'm here to shank and smile!
  • It's time to bleed!
  • Who's ready to flay some scalps?!
  • BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOOOD, BLOOOOOOD, BLOOOOOOOOD!
  • Mahahaha! My mind is on fire!
  • (If I harm an innocent person, kill me.)

While Raving Retribution is active

  • Over here, my sweet meats, your prince of justice and genocide has something to say: Gone are the days of the tentacle and the age of the gods and mercy is far away... We are fighters of the middle, the second act in the three-part MEAT play, AND I WILL WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!
  • I know what I have become... I am the inside of this world... I taste the gore, and I smell the crying... AND I WANT MORE! I want to bathe in your flesh, I want to savor your fear. I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony, AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!
  • Keep your chin up, SO I CAN SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!! Oh, there's no time to cry... We have to squeeze the whimpers out of you like a smothered baby in the night... You won't make a noise now, will you, WILL YOU!! Stay quiet, OR YOU'RE DEAD! NOW AND FOREVER!!
  • Pitiful people prepare, plead plentifully plentiful platitude phenomenal patriot pounds, poundingly perverse puppets pulping, pleasantly, putrid pasties.
  • Look at me when I scream at your soul! You loud sacks of filth and sour cream can hit me with your pain pinatas all day, but you'll never take the jellied fantasies of my wasted youth! My stomach is clear and my mind is full of bacon!
  • I can't see her anymore... She was so clear and bright... but the blood is in my eyes, and now I can only watch the ocean of blood... Its waves crash against my forehead again and again, AND I JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SURF!!
  • You're gonna scream, just like she did; open mouth, open heart, blood and noise forever piercing my skull, poisoning me with its psychopathic purple liquid. We watched it all, and felt the knife edge split down the middle... CAN YOU HEAR ME?!
  • I'll never forget the way her holes cried... The way she screamed in agony as she pushed the knife slowly into my sternum... Such a beautiful symphony of feelings, and at the end of it, she was so much greater! My operatic diva of flesh and steel!!
  • I'm gonna kill you all, I'm gonna kill your friends and your family, I'm gonna track down your grandparents and turn them inside-out, nobody can stop the blood train that will turn your loved ones into a red splatter across the tracks of humanity!
  • Box cover, box cover! I'm the one who eats the stardom! I'm the hero of all the villains! You can't swallow my morality like a lollipop pill! I'll run around your mind and set the world record with my meat sleeves!
  • This is my favorite song! Dance to the drum beat of the ballistic, fetishistic, sadistic piss-stick! Let the bullets scrape me clean and never, ever, ever flash a sassy eye at the good doctor!
  • There is no me, there is no you! There is only the never ending spit and bile of combat! The twenty-four hour murder spree of shining metal! I drink the blood and eat the loot and breathe the numbers, because I! AM! A MONSTER! NOW AND FOREVER!
  • (The voices said 'empty, hollow and thud'. The voices said 'empty, hollow and thud'.) THE VOICES SAID 'EMPTY, HOLLOW AND THUD'!!

When activating Buzz Axe Rampage

  • STOP SCREAMING!
  • GRIND GRIND GRIND KILL KILL KILL!
  • (This is gonna get ugly...)
  • (You asked for it...I can't hold him back any longer...!)
  • [maniacal laughter]
  • POUNDS! OF! FLESH!
  • (It's time...)
  • NO! DON'T DO IT!
  • I'LL SLICE OFF YOUR EYELIDS SO YOU CAN WATCH THE END!!
  • YESYESYESYESYES!!!
  • WHO WANTS THE FIRST SLICE?!

When killing multiple enemies

  • [unintelligible roaring noises]
  • I told ya what would happen!
  • I swallowed your soul!
  • GRIND THE CARTILAGE!
  • OPEN YOUR VEINS!
  • STOP DYING AT ME!!
  • (Yes, make them pay for what they did to us...)
  • NEVER STOP THE KILLING!! NEVER!!
  • NEVER INTERRUPT ME!
  • YOU'RE NOTHING!
  • THERE'S NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE!!!
  • GET STYLED UPON!!!
  • BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOOOOOD!
  • RED RUUUMMMMM!
  • (Yes, you're killing the right people.)
  • Now run, HAHAHA run!
  • Yes, I knew it!
  • (keep going.)
  • (keep going.)(nice work.)

When Release the Beast is available

  • I feel the hurt...time for a rampage!
  • Rampage and fill the red bar!
  • I'm losing blood...gimme yours!
  • My axe is thirsty!
  • RAMPAGE TIME!
  • It's time to go insane!
  • Rampage and heal, HEAL AND RAMPAGE!
  • SWING THE AXE AND DRINK THE HEALTH!!

When Crippled

  • Nobody kills me but ME!
  • I didn't eat it!
  • No last words for the eighth!
  • I'll lick your spine clean!
  • Everything is blood!
  • I FEEL IT ALL!!
  • I LIKE this part...
  • IT SUSTAINS ME!!
  • I taste blood... mine AND yours!!
  • THIS IS THE TRUTH!!
  • Time to make some head wounds!
  • Get over here and smell my meat!
  • I've got a spot for you in my liver!
  • I don't want to go!
  • [Furious screaming]
  • (Get up! We've still got bad guys to kill...)

When activating "Light the Fuse"

  • Boom!
  • Gotcha!
  • Tick-Tock!
  • DIE!
  • BURST IT!
  • EXPLODE!!
  • TIMES UP!

When Pull the Pin is activated

  • I'm taking you with me...
  • Die with me!
  • Martyr for my little one...
  • From hell's heart, I stab at thee!
  • We'll all go together!

When getting Critical Kills

  • How can I snap your neck if you don't have one?!
  • Bathe in the MEAT CHUNKS!
  • [laughter] MEEEEEAAAAAAAT!!!
  • It's a baptism of blood!
  • YOU MAKE ME VOMIT! [laughs]
  • YOU'RE WRONG!
  • SHHHHHHHHH *Whispers* quuiieettttttttt...

After killing a badass (or higher) enemy

  • [maniacal laughter]
  • I LOOKED INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS, AND I ATE IT ALL!!!
  • Now, GO TO SLEEP!
  • Now to murder your family!
  • Your FAMILY is next!!
  • I PUNCTURED YOOOOOU!!!
  • Why did your BLOOD stop singing its sweet song...
  • YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT I'VE BECOME!!!
  • SHUT-SHUT-SHUT-SHUT UP!
  • I'll rip out your veins with my teeth!

When getting a Second Wind with "Light The Fuse"

  • Explosions of life!
  • Circle of Life!
  • Born into flame!
  • Immortal!
  • DEATH-BIRTH!
  • I SAW THE LIGHT!!!
  • Death to LIVE!!
  • LIFE! IS! PAIN!
  • I'll take you ALL with me!
  • Not fast enough!

When getting vehicle kills

  • *Laughs* Your liver is a hood ornament!
  • Insurance fraud!
  • Train won't stop!
  • I love it when you splash on my windshield!
  • Thank you for riding the Psycho Express, Toot-toot! All aboard, I'll be collecting your tickets, we have beverages in the DINING CAR!!!

When Silence the Voices activates (Self Damage)

  • Stop hitting yourself!!
  • I hate me!!
  • CONFUSION!!
  • The pain goes HERE!
  • SHUT UP!!
  • GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!
  • STOP TALKING TO ME!!
  • KILL THE LITTLE MAN!!
  • QUIET!!
  • Get out, get out, GET OUT!!!
  • LET ME LOOSE!!
  • I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
  • NO, NO, NO!!
  • STOP JUDGING ME!!
  • YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!
  • (Dude, what are you doing?)
  • (I deserve this.)
  • (You can't get rid of me THAT easily...)

When reviving an ally

  • You're in my spot!
  • [menacingly] Love you...
  • There's no barbecue 'til I say there's a barbecue!
  • You can't make them pain scream from down there!
  • I will murder your death!
  • You don't die today. YOU DIE EVERY DAY!!
  • The bloody gluttons won't feed on you today!
  • You get back on your meat haunches!
  • Get up, GET UP!! YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE TO HURT!!
  • Don't worry...it's a good touch...
  • It's a bad, bad flesh rip that leaves YOU screaming.
  • (That's right, help 'em. Just like old times...)

When gaining stacks of Salt the Wound

  • Hurt me more!
  • Hurts so good!
  • No pain, no gain!
  • Nothing makes me stronger than a sucking chest wound!
  • There is nothing but agony!
  • Stab me a THOUSAND TIMES!!
  • It hurts, HAHAHAHAHA! IT HURTS!!
  • Pain is LIFE!!
  • Make me bleed!
  • A pain of many parts!
  • The sting of POWER!
  • (Damn, that hurts...)

When revived or being revived

  • Why aren't you stabbing me?
  • (Say 'thank you'.) NIPPLE SALADS!! (...Close enough.)
  • Somebody still cares?
  • Stranger danger!
  • I can't even feel a knife in my spine...
  • I was enjoying that!
  • Stop it! STOP IT! I NEED TO FEEL IT ALL!!
  • What're you doing to me?!
  • I am unused to the emotions I am currently feeling!
  • I'm so happy I could KILL you!
  • Don't make this weird!

On earning a Second Wind

  • (Get up...you still got bad guys to kill...)
  • (On your feet, she might still be out there.)
  • I'M NEVER SORRY!
  • NOW YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!
  • You woke the wrong dog!
  • I'm not full yet!
  • Angry, I'm angry!
  • Let me hear those screams!
  • My flesh is forever!
  • Now to SCRAPE YOUR FACE FROM MY FINGERNAILS!
  • It's strangling time!
  • I'm back!
  • I'LL TAKE YOU ALL WITH ME

While idle

  • Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now... Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now... Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now... Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now... Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now... Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now...
  • (Where is she? Is she still alive? Did she get away?)
  • (If you ever kill an innocent person, I will destroy us.) Shut UP!! (No. That's the deal. You can kill as many of the deserving as you like, but the second your axe touches the flesh of an innocent, I'll end this. All of it. A razor to the veins, just like that fugitive we tried to grab on Hera, remember?) Nnnnngh, get out of my head!! (...I'll take that as a 'yes.')
  • Somebody open me up and put out the fire in my belly... Put it out with knives and bullets and strangling, or I will eat your nephews!
  • (Nice change of pace not to be murdering someone for once. Probably temporary, though. I'll lose my mind again and be screaming about meat and fluid soon enough... But this part feels... nice.)
  • You think this is the end... It will never end. The blood, the screaming, and the teeth, it will start again and again and again, forever!
  • NIPPLE SALADS! Nipple salads... NIPPLE SALADS!
  • The silence... Kill it! I'll find you! Quiet noises... and I'll STRANGLE the whispers out of you with a BONESAW!!
  • (I'm beginning to remember...) Stop it, keep the memories down with a knife in its throat, slash it until it bleeds thought juice across the dirt and it's absorbed into nothingness...
  • (I can't stop, I can't stop the killing...) AND I DON'T WANT TO!
  • I LOVE to wait for my meals

Completing a Challenge

  • (Maybe the world is sending me a sign.)
  • STRONGER!
  • My pecs have pecs!
  • I feel a deep, dark warmth...!
  • I'm rising!
  • You can't stop me!

Out of Ammo

  • No! No, no, no, NO!
  • Who made this gun!?
  • I ordered a lead salad!
  • NOTHINGNESS!
  • [frustrated groan]

Comparing Items

  • (Uh-oh. Math. Hope we don't pop a blood vessel.)
  • Uhh... the choices are pretzeling my inner lobes!
  • See the numbers, taste the violence....
  • But who makes the prettiest noise?

Looking at Skill Trees

  • Too... Many... Icons...
  • My head hurts...

Spotting Health

  • I see red!
  • Organic arm-jabbers!
  • Blood drink!
  • Blasto bandage!
  • I see feel good needles!

Spotting a badass

  • HERE COMES THE BAD TIMES!!
  • I'm gonna swallow your throat, badass!
  • I can't wait to taste your lungs!
  • I'll show you what a real badass is!
  • I see meat muscles!
  • Don't cry when I pull your lungs out through your chest!
  • Come to me wrath sponge!
  • Splash your blood all over me!
  • Somebody delivered a FEAST!!
  • I want to hear you scream!
  • (This one, we can kill.)

When set on fire

  • I EMBRACE THE FLAME.
  • HE'S ON FIRE.
  • (I deserve to burn...)
  • Keep warm!
  • (Ow. Ow. Ow ow.)
  • (Hysterical laughter)

When hit by friendly fire

  • Hurt the one you love! Do it!
  • I'll eat the pain.
  • I feel your spanking.
  • Friendship is pain.
  • Shoot me 'til you love me!
  • Friendlyfriendlyfriendly FIRE!!
  • DON'T...STOP!!
  • (Damn... they finally turned on me...)

When turning into a Badass Psycho Mutant

  • I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!
  • NO! NO, NO, NO!!!
  • I'VE GOT A HUGE HAND!!!
  • [angry roar]
  • (I'm a monster...!) [Said in the tone of his normal outside voice]
  • (You wanted 'im? You GOT 'IM!)
  • GOTTA THINK BIG... BIIIIIIG!
When using "Redeem the Soul"
  • Better this way...
  • I wanna die here, ME!!
  • Heads up, seven up!
  • You don't die, I DIE!
  • Monster down! Angel up!
  • Blood for blood!
  • Don't cheat my death!
  • (You don't deserve this. I do.)
  • You're in my spot!
  • Trading Places!

When finding rare loot

  • I like my treasure like I like my baby steaks, raaaaare...
  • A golden mallet for the meat pounding!
  • Look at that pungent kill stick!
  • MINE, MINE, MINE!
  • A killing tool, put it in me!
  • (We can use that to kill the deserving, grab it...)
  • What a shiny soul stabber!

On gaining a level

  • I heard a ding!
  • I'm rising!
  • All I see is red!
  • This pleasure is agony!
  • I'm overflowing!
  • [short, maniacal laughter]
  • I want to crush something!
  • Gun time, fun time!
  • Do you hear that?!
  • I AM DEATH!
  • (Nearly as good as getting paid.)

When making a high jump in a vehicle

  • Looks like them Duke boys are in a peck of trouble!
  • Somebody catch me!
  • Ugh, fine! I'll make the sky bleed!
  • FLYING!!!
  • I can't breathe!

When gaining Elemental Elation stacks

  • Bigger mag, better pain!
  • Stack the frenzy! (Say this with two different styles, the other with a calm voice and the other with a more angry tone with the added words: "Do it!" after)
  • Burning, melting goodness
  • When my powers combine!
  • Melt for me, pastycakes!
  • Melt in my mouth!

When Numbed Nerves activates

  • Cauterize the wound!

When accumulating bloodlust stacks

  • (This is kinda awful... but mostly awesome...)
  • I smell a little drop!
  • BLOOD CONCERTO!!!
  • Paper cut...
  • I love it when you bleed at me!
  • It's a bloody business, Bates!
  • I lust for your blood!
  • [Snarling] Hemophilia!
  • Salt... good GOD where's my salt?!
  • I feel the crimson!
  • Blood on the dirt!
  • The crimson mist is so nutritious!
  • What a fantastic blood boy I've become!
  • Bloody sand, GIVE ME BACK MY SKULL!

Issuing a duel challenge

  • Friendship is hate!
  • I'll give you something to cry about!
  • LOOK AT ME!
  • You'll never choke ME down!
  • I am NOT your friend!
  • (Don't kill this one, they are not deserving.)

Receiving a duel challenge

  • That's more like it!
  • Thank you!
  • Yeeeeessss, AGAIN!
  • Thanks for the face pain!
  • (Don't kill them, this is just for fun, for fun...)

Losing a duel

  • It feels perfect!
  • I've got to stop.
  • I didn't mean it!
  • Feels different this time!
  • It's the end... But the meat has been prepared!

Stalemate at a duel

  • I slaughtered Steven! He's not even!
  • I'll strangle you with that tie!
  • That's wrong! SO WRONG!
  • But nobody's bleeediiinnng!
  • I'd rather snort a knife into my brain!

Winning a duel

  • Feels so right!
  • You're making me giddy!
  • While there's life, there's meat!
  • You were fantastic. SO WAS I!!!
  • (Teasingly) You should've ruuuun!

Colliding with another player's vehicle (Or a Caravan)

  • Beep Beep!
  • Bad song in horrible award-winning movie!
  • Eat me!

Opening a chest

  • What an amazing chest, Gwynevere!
  • Crack the ribcage to get the goodies!
  • Violence knick-knacks!
  • My pain-toys!
  • I want what's insiiide yoouuu!
  • Gimme your guts, metal box!
  • What sweet meats do you have today?
  • Look at all the death-trinkets!
  • I'll keep it all inside me..
  • Show me your loot-soul!
  • Nahah, it's like Arbor Day!
  • I wanna see sunset colors!
  • I've opened puppies faster than this!
  • Shoot and loot and loot and shoot.
  • I need you so bad..
  • (I've always loved getting paid.. especially in loot.)

In Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep

  • SMELLS LIKE HOME! (entering Unassuming Docks)
  • I'LL CRACK YOUR MIND AND BEAT YOUR PROBLEMS TO DEATH! (talking to Ellie/Eleanor in Flamerock Refuge)
  • THE FINGER PUPPETS ARE REVOLTING AGAINST ME! (breaking fingers during Critical Fail)
  • THE MIND FLAYERS ARE AT IT AGAIN! THE PUZZLING PAIN! (when presented the cube puzzle in Mines of Avarice)
  • RAFT! (When guessing the Dwarven password)
  • MEAT.... (entering Hatred's Shadow)
  • Rolling a Dice Chest once
    • "IT'S A BOUNCY LOOT GOD THAT I PRAY TO!"
    • "RIVER ROLLING! ROLLING! ROLLING!"
    • "TOO MANY SIDES! TOO MUCH TO COUNT!"
    • "THE NUMBERS BRING THE HORRID PAIN STABS!"
    • "NNNGH, SHOW ME YOUR MATH-TASTIC INSIDES!"
  • Rolling a Dice Chest twice
    • "TWO? TWOOOOOO?"
    • "IT'S A DOUBLE TIME POUND SOUND!"
    • "WHY AREN'T YOU THREE LIKE YOUR BROTHER?!"
    • "I'M COMING FOR YOU, LADY LUCK! WITH A HATCHET!"
  • "NUMBERS FOREVER!"

Dropping the Crit

  • HANDS STILL SLICK FROM THE KILL...
  • WHOOPS!
  • ARGH!
  • DAMN!
  • DROPPED IT!
  • IT ESCAPED MY FINGER PRISON!

In Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre

  • SHE'S WAITING TO SUCKLE AT THE TEAT OF EXPLOSION CHIVALRY! (words of encouragement for Ed)
  • (when tasting whiskey):
    • MORE JUICE!
    • BUT I ORDERED GOAT'S BLOOD!
    • MOTHER'S MIIIIIILK!
  • YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD, SO DEAD-DEAD-DEAD-DEAD! (to make the baby cry)
  • THE TINY ONE AND THE SAD-FACED MOTHER AND THE BLUE TATTOO FOREVER AND EVER! (when Moxxi asks about a mister-or-missus Vault Hunter in Krieg's life)
  • SMOKE BREAK YOUR BACK! (when collecting the cigar box)
  • DON'T ASK ME TO SHOW YOU NORMAL! (when Innuendobot asks if his Oedipal feelings for Moxxi are normal)
  • (when collecting Stella's wig):
    • WIG PLEASE.
    • NEED THE WIG FOR A QUEST, ROBOTPANTS!
    • BLAME INNUENDOBOT, NOT THE MEAT MAN!
  • SLATHER MY PECS TO A SHEEN AND BURN MY EYES OUT WITH THEIR BRIGHTNESS! (when collecting the can of grease)
  • NEGATIVE NANCY HAD A THROAT BEFORE I TORE IT OUT! (when Innuendobot asks if his negging made Krieg love him)

In Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax

  • CONFETTI MAN CAME FOR THE PARTY! (When finding Axton's assassin)
  • CAN I PARK MY BICYCLE HERE?! (When finding Gaige's assassin)
  • GIMME THAT POISON! I'LL DRINK IT DOWN AND BECOME THE BEAUTIFUL CENTER OF A HATE ESCALATOR! (When finding Maya's assassin)
  • PINATA TIME! (When finding Salvador's assassin)
  • HE WAS THERE FOR THE BIRTHING! HE BROUGHT THEM INTO THE METAL FUN PALACE SO SHE COULD START THE PARTY! (When finding Krieg's assassin)
  • MODERN ART! (When finding Zer0's assassin)
  • SALUTATIONS PSYCHO MAN I'M SORRY AS A SLICE WOUND SINCERELY SAMMY. (Reading message from Hammerlock)

Borderlands 3

Konrad's Hold logs

Log - Control
Inner voice: "I thought I could control it, I was getting close. I can't wait to see her again until-"

Outside voice: "NECKSNAP SONGS FOR THE GARBAGE PEOPLE."

Inner voice: "Yes, yes. But only for the garbage people. We do not kill the innocent."

Outside voice: "DIE, LITTLE MAN!"

Inner voice: "I'm not going anywhere. And I will take control... sooner or later."

Outside voice: "I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THE CASTRATION WRINGER."

Inner voice: "Just... work with me here, man. We can do this. You just need to listen to me a little bit more."

Outside voice: "I'LL RIP THE EARS FROM MY OWN SKULL AND EAT THEM RAW."

Inner voice: "I'll take that as a no."

Log - Old Life
Inner voice: "I kind of miss the thrill of the hunt. When we used to hunt down those fugitives and mercs for the highest bidder. Stalking and sneaking and tracking... we were a highly-trained predator."

Outside voice: "YOWLING MADNESS AT THE MIDDAY MOON."

Inner voice: "And now we're this. A ranting, rambling lunatic who can't go five minutes without screaming the word "blood"."

Outside voice: "CAN TOO!"

Inner voice: "Oh, you're actually listening? I thought you were just tuning me out-"

Outside voice: "BLOOD NIGHTMARE!"

Inner voice: "There it is. Well, it looks like I'm stuck with you. For now, at least."

Outside voice: "YOU WILL NOT RIP THE MEAT MAN FROM THE SMALL MAN."

Inner voice: "Apparently not."

Log - Cave
Inner voice: "It took years of work, but I can finally express myself-even if it's only in the silence of this cave."

Outside voice: "QUIET CAN SUCK A RAILROAD SPIKE THROUGH MY SKULL!"

Inner voice: "Lovely imagery. But of course you don't like it. There's no faces to slice open with a buzz axe. But trust me, it's for our own good that we-"

Outside voice: "TOUCHY-TOUCH WITH A WHIP CRACK ON MY OWN BACKSIDE."

Inner voice: "If we ever want to see her again, you're gonna have to learn to let me take over."

Outside voice: "NEVER WITH THE BLOOD SCREAM WILL WE?"

Inner voice: "Well, that's up to you. I guess. Can you keep to yourself?"

Outside voice: "BLAST OFF!"

Inner voice: "Yeah. We'll keep workin' on it."

Log - Stuck
Inner voice: "I don't know how long I have until it happens again. But I need to remember her. I need to remember her face. Maybe, if I can just hold on to that... some day I'll see her again, and I'll tell her-"

Outside voice: "RIPPING JAWBONES OFF THE TORTURE MEAT!"

Inner voice: "No! Damn it. Can't believe I'm still stuck with you after all this time!"

Outside voice: "NGH-NEVER SETTLING UNTIL THE DEAD BLOAT WRITHES INSIDE MY CARCASS."

Inner voice: "[Sigh] Till death do us part, huh? Terrific. Maybe we can work out some kind of shared custody situation with the-"

Outside voice: "SPIN-AXE IS ALWAYS THIRSTY FOR THE MEAT JUICE."

Inner voice: "Great. Well, at least I can finally speak a little bit. Even if it's only in here. Alone. Or at least, as alone as I can get."

Outside voice: "UGH! FRIENDS FOREVER, NOW SHUT UP!"

Log - I've Missed You
Inner voice: "Okay, let's practice. Just say, "I've missed you so much.""

Outside voice: "RGRGHHH. "I'VE... MISSED THE HELMSMAN WITH MY PARADE HARPOON!""

Inner voice: "So close. So close. Let's try it again. "I've missed you so much.""

Outside voice: ""I'VE GOT A SPIN-AXE WITH YOUR BLOOD ON IT!""

Inner voice: "Less... close. Maybe we can try another one. How about, "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.""

Outside voice: ""DON'T... DON'T BE A... DON'T BE A WALKING SKINSUIT OR I'LL RIP THE HOSES OFF YOUR CHEST!""

Inner voice: ""Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you""

Outside voice: ""DON'T... BE AFRAID. OR I'LL HURT YOU!""

Inner voice: "I'd call that progress."

Log - Revenge Poop
Inner voice: "I got my revenge on Hyperion... thought maybe I'd come back after that. But I'm still stuck with you. Grgh... am I ever gonna get out of this?"

Outside voice: "I HAVE TO POOP NOW!"

Inner voice: "So do it. Who's stoppin' you? At least I get some time to think while we're busy with that."

Outside voice: "DROPPING ANCHORS IN THE SICK PIT WITH FIERY RAINS."

Inner voice: "Sometimes there's a kind of poetry to your nonsense, isn't there? Even when it's about... that."

Outside voice: "TO COMPLETION!"

Inner voice: "Yes, yes. We're very proud of us."

The Splinterlands

Log - Entwined
Krieg: "UNJUST CALAMITY!"

Maya: "Easy, Krieg, it's okay. You heard what Lilith said. Sanctuary's gone, but we're all still Vault Hunters. Including you."

Krieg: "POOPED OUT BY THE VENGEFUL RICTUS!"

Maya: "You aren't just a psycho anymore. Not to me. Not to any of us."

Krieg: "A KNOTTED GUT? TWO KNIVES ENTWINED!"

Maya: "I can't stay. I have to go to Athenas. I left those people defenseless. And I have to know more about what I am. It feels... important."

Krieg: "TORN APART... from pretty lady."

Maya: "Don't worry, big guy. I'll be back. I promise."

Carnivora

Log - Psycho Lessons
Tina: "Okay, big guy, look. There's a bomb-ass bandit party goin' on over there and they're only lettin' in the CRAZIEST muckabluckas. Tina's gotta go undercover-so I need psycho lessons."

Krieg: "Lick the wombat! Flay until dawn!"

Tina: "Oh shit, are we-is that-are we startin'? Okay, okay, I-I got this, I got... Romance the wombat! Lick the sun!"

Krieg: "Subjugation for the mind-tickle. LICK the wombat! FLAY until DAWN!"

Tina: "Flick the cheddar biscuit! Become Shawn! Eh?"

Krieg: "LICK THE WOMBAT! FLAY UNTIL DAWN!"

Tina: "Lick the wombat! Flay until dawn!"

Krieg: "UNENDING CATASTROPHE!"

Tina: "I did it? Ha-HA, I did it! Lick the wombat! Lick the wombat! LICK THE WOMBAT! Hahahaha! Thanks, Krieg! I haven't had a good teacher since Roland, heh. You wanna come to the party? It's gonna be a rager!"

Krieg: "GNASH THE TEETH! POOP IN THE CHALICE! HA-HA!"

Tina: "Haha, yeah we will! Cover your chalices, Pandora!"

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