Jack/Quotes

ECHO Recordings

Personal Item: Dr. Autohn's Log

Dr Autohn: “The voice modulator may cause some pain over the next two or three, uh, decades.”

Jack Double: “My --- eughhh, guhh… contract’ll be up by then! I gotta talk like Jack for the next thirty years?!”

Dr Autohn: “Say something charming. I need to test the modulator’s range.”

Jack Double: “Hi. I’m Jack. You’re… um… pretty.”

Dr Autohn: “Atrocious! Work on your delivery during the shuttle ride.”

Jack Double: “Uh, what now?”

Dr Autohn: “Your presence has been requested on the moon.”

Some Random Dude

Learn about what it’s like to pretend to be Jack.

1^st ECHO Recording

Dr Autohn: “Mr… Lawrence?”

Timothy: “Uh, yeah, that’s me!”

Dr Autohn: “Timothy: please go through the door to your right. Your interviewer will be waiting for you.”

Timothy: “Do I, uh, need to sign some papers, or…"

Dr Autohn: “Through the door please.”

Timothy: “No, wait, how do I know this isn’t some scam to get my kidneys?”

Dr Autohn: “You applied for this position because you needed money! Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Timothy: “But… I… okay. Alright, I’m ready.”

Dr Autohn: “Very good, Timothy.”

2^nd ECHO Recording

Dr Autohn: “How are you feeling?”

Timothy: “Eughhh… I… what happened?”

Dr Autohn: “What is the last thing you remember?”

Timothy: “I was… there was a door… and… and you were there… You asked me some questions, and then I woke up here.”

Dr Autohn: “Hmmmm. Seems the anesthesia we’re using is still causing substantial memory loss. Nurse, collect all my notes on experimental post-traumatic stress therapy. I’ve got some ideas.”

Nurse Nina: “Da, doctor. I hook this one up to drip?”

Dr Autohn: “No! Not until he feels it. We need to make sure the nerves weren’t damaged during the surgery.”

Timothy: “Surgery? What surgery?!”

Dr Autohn: “Shhhh. Relax. I’ll fill you in on everything.”

3^rd ECHO Recording

Timothy: “My name will be Jack. I work as an engineer for Hyperion. Doctor, I still sound like myself.”

Dr Autohn: “That will be fixed with the voice modulator implants. Now that you’ve signed these forms, for the next twenty years, you’ll be Jack.”

Timothy: “Jeez… uh, when do I get paid?”

Dr Autohn: “Soon. Report to medical chamber seven. Experiment commentary, day four. Visual transformation complete and all records deleted. Timothy Lawrence, at least on paper, no longer exists. And neither do his secrets. Jack will be very, very pleased.”

4^th Echo Recording

Woman: “Hey there, sexy.”

Jack Double: “What? You talkin’ to me?”

Woman: “Haha, of course! Who else would I be talking to? You see any OTHER gorgeous strangers in this place?”

Jack Double: “Uh… no. Guess not.”

Woman: “What’s your name? Or should I keep calling you 'sexy'?”

Jack Double: “Oh, the name’s Ti… uh, Jack. But YOU can call me whatever you like.”

Woman: “How about 'the man who bought me a drink'?”

Gameplay: Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

During Welcome to Helios

• "The real Jack -- not the fake one! -- reporting for duty!" (Introducing himself to Jack.)

During Lost Legion Invasion

• "Hey! Other Jack! Who was that woman?" (First hearing Zarpedon.)
• "What the hell was that!? I didn't sign up for this!" (Asking about the Mysterious Guardian.)
• "Um, what is this "moonshot" thing we're headed for, again?" (After Jack says they're heading to the Moonshot Cannon.)
• "And that's, uh... survivable, is it?" (After Jack explains what the Moonshot Cannon is.)
• "Uh, this might be a problem? Cause I got a thing with heights, and uh -- oh god." (After Jacks says to watch your step when entering the Moonshot Cylinder.)
• "This -- this is a... pretty big bullet." (After entering the Moonshot Cylinder.)
• "Getting uncomfortable now." (After Jack suggests leaving his double behind on Helios.)
• "You're gonna stay and die? Shouldn't we switch places or something?" (After Jack suggests he'll stay behind instead.)
• "Ohhh, I'm already SO regretting this decision." (Before entering the Moonshot container.)
• "The name's Jack... babe." (Introducing himself to Janey Springs.)
• "There's a jamming signal somewhere around here. Need to shut that down and head back to Helios Station." (Explaining to Janey why they're on Elpis.)

During Tales from Elpis

• "It was... nice!" (Janey's first story.)
• "Not -- not bad, as far as limericks about death go." (Janey's second story.)
• "Nice! Make me sound cool!" (Upon hearing Janey's plans to include the doppelgänger in the next chapter.)

During Land Among the Stars

• "Um... what?" (Reaction to Janey asking for Jack's participation in creating inspirational posters.)
• "Uhmmm..." (On being asked to say something inspirational.)
• "Hnngahh, I'm nauseous! Ngh..." (Jack's inspirational line.)
• "Oh god, I'm seriously scared of heights!" (Second attempt, after shooting both targets.)
• "BWRRPHHHTT! -- Urgggh, I wanna go home..." (Third attempt, after butt-slamming.)

During Marooned

• "I'm sorry -- "Zarpedon"?" (Upon Janey mentioning Zarpedon.)
• "I don't think you ever told me why you want Deadlift killed." (Asking Janey why Deadlift is a target.)
• "Oh, okay. I'm sorry, wait, what?" (After hearing Janey's justification.)
• "Hee-hee!" (After Colonel Zarpedon makes contact; laughing at the sound of her name.)
• "Really? Cause you've already, like, killed a WHOLE bunch of people." (Rejecting Colonel Zarpedon's mercy.)
• "What?" (When requested to stand-in as a fuse.)
• "That gonna burn me or anything?" (When Janey insists.)
• "He's got big dreams. And I've got student loans." (Answering Janey's enquiry.)

During Follow Your Heart

• "Got a package for you, uh -- you wanna sign it?" (After finding someone to sign for the posters.)
• "This is the picture of a woman who would smile while she shot me in the scrote." (On putting up the first poster.)
• "This makes me wanna stab someone!" (Second poster.)
• "That's a little more information than I needed." (Third poster.)
• "Huh." (Fourth poster.)
• "Ohhh, kitty! I ruv him!" (Reaction to cat poster.)

During Last Requests

• "Ehhh, sure, what's the worst that could happen?" (After picking up and listening to Thorsen's ECHO.)
• "You're a dick. Sorry." (To Nell, as per Thorsen's request.)

During Torgue-o!, Torgue-o!

• "Nah, it's cool. I was only half-listening, anyway." (After Janey tells the doppelgänger he's 'not her type'.)
• "Ugh, great. Buncha crap in the way." (On reaching the warehouse.)

During Systems Jammed

• "Yeah, that's, that's -- thanks. I'm pretty sure there's a bomb in this face that'll detonate if you try to take it off, but, thank you." (After Janey tells Jack...)
• "Oh, go f**k yourself." (Responding to CU5TM-TP asking for entry papers.)
• "F**k you in the ***!" (On getting a ticket for swearing.)
• "Woooa-OAAAH!" (Whilst falling in the lift leading to the Meriff's office.)
• "Hey there, kiddos. Hyperion are losing Helios to Dahl -- we need to stop the signal that's jamming its system! Bitches." (Talking to Roland.)
• "... Tentacles?" (Reaction to Lilith claiming Vault hunting involved 'too many tentacles'.)
• "Holy shi -- hi! I'm, uh -- Jack. Obviously. And I need your help. Are you SURE we're not still dating? -- Wow!" (Talking to Moxxi.)
• "I, uhm. Helios. Dahl attacked. Jamming... signal. Jeez, you're really pretty." (Explaining to Moxxi what the problem is.)
• "Can I spend these Moonstones on some transmitters? ... I'm Jack?" (After Crazy Earl asks what Jack wants.)
• "Yeah. What was that again?" (Trying to understand Moxxi's request when fixing a transmitter.)
• "Signal's coming from a place called... 'Crisis Scar'?" (After triangularing the signal.)
• "Uhm, Moxxi? Er-er, um... ma'am? Hellooo?" (Upon discovering Moxxi in her workshop.)
• "Ohhh jeez, even cuter without make-up. That's just... ugggh, this is the worst." (Questioning Moxxi's change.)
• "Uhm, the... Meriff... locked up in -- city. Could you... help get me out? Please?" (Response to Moxxi asking why you're here.)
• "Yeah, no, totally -- of course! I promise -- anything! Absolutely, anything for you, please just, GOD, marry me -- I mean, I didn't say that! What's up with you? How are you?" (After Moxxi asks you not to reveal her secret. Or else.)

During Bunch of Ice Holes

• "Yeah, TOTALLY, lady, I'm all over this! Something Jack would say." (After accepting the mission from Nurse Nina.)

During A New Direction

• "Oh jeez!" (Exclamation at the Eye of Helios firing when entering the area.)
• "Uh huh. And how do I get inside?" (To SC4V-TP when trying to enter the gate to Crisis Scar.)
• "Yeah, or I could just use this door right here." (After SC4V-TP informs Jack that he should use another entrance.)
• "'Arrrr'?" (Password to the secret entrance.)
• "No more jamming signal." (After destroying the relays.)
• "That's the Meriff speaking!" (Answering Jack's rhetorical question when the Meriff contacts the double.)
• "Like -- kill him? Or actually... talk?" (Incorrectly assuming Jack wants to kill the Meriff.)
• "I'm liking it, but his elevator's still locked." (Trying to reach the Meriff.)
• "Well, remember the that recording we got of the Meriff and the geisha bot-thingy? We could use that to blackmail our way in. Maybe." (Suggesting the same tactic that Jack had prevously rejected from Moxxi.)
• "Man, this guy just doesn't give up!" (Reacting to the Meriff trying to cover for his crimes.)
• "Man, that laser just keeps on going!" (After the Eye of Helios fires upon exiting the Meriff's office.)

During The Empty Billabong

• "" (After Peepot asks if Jack thinks The Jolly Swagman is sleeping.)

During Wherefore Art thou

• "" (Jack's advice to Deidre.)
• "" (...)

During Nothing Is Never An Option

• "Sucks to be you, Springs -- you got zip this time." (To Janey when it seems she got nothing out of the mission.)

During Grinders

• "" (Jack's opinion on Grinders.)

During Pop Racing

• "That's a lotta trousers for a little man." (On accepting Napykins Lunestalker's challenge.)

During Intelligences of the Artificial Persuasion

• "Hey, what's up, kid?" (Greeting Davis Pickle.)
• "Ehhhhh, I don't know about that." (Counter to Pickle saying you can't just 'walk up and ask for an AI'.)
• "Great. Wonderful." (After The Bosun closes the bridge to the Drakensburg.)
• "I'm only a little... deathly, completely afraid of them." (Pickle asking Jack if he's afraid of heights.)
• "Stop giving them good advice!" (Unhappy at Pickle inciting The Bosun into using his 'best men'.)
• "Hrkk -- oooh, that's a fart smell." (Commenting on the vats of methane held at the Processing Plant.)
• "I'm sorry, I'm here for the military AI." (Response to the Skipper asking to be saved.)
• "Cool. This'll be fine. Surely." (Agreeing to help when the Skipper says they know where to find the military AI.)
• "Yeah! No Problem! I'm Jack, I can handle it." (After being warned about there being a lot of resistance.)
• "Wow and -- super cool. Hey, you don't happen to have a military AI around here, do you?" (On discovering the Skipper is an AI.)

During Zapped 3.0

• "" (Answering Mr.Torgue on the subject of whether explosions are better than lasers.)

During Space Slam

• "" (On failure.)
• "Ah, y'know, it's all for the love of the game, man, all the-- all the crowds-- I mean, that's why I do it, for-- for these guys. Y'know, all the money-- none of it matters, y'know, if you don't love the game. And, uh... the game's been good to me, y'know, you just gotta go out there, you just gotta give it 110%, y'know, and that's... that's why I play." (Jack's victory speech.)

During The Secret Chamber

• "Uhhhh… a handsome guy?" (Being asked for voice identification when trying to access the secret room in the Drakensburg.)

During Rough Love

• "" (To Meat Head, suitor number one.)
• "Uh... These are from Nurse Nina... if you wanna... take that risk." (To Drongo Bones, suitor number two.)
• "Sure, whatever. Diff'rent strokes and all that." (To Timber Logwood, once back at Nurse Nina's office in Concordia.)

During Home delivery

• "" (After Hammerlock informs Jack that what he asks of him is illegal.)

During Wiping The Slate

• "" (On accepting the mission.)
• "" (When Jack orders for the last of the Meriff's ECHO recorders to be destroyed without listening to it first.)
• "" (When asked by Jack to shoot the head off of the Meriff's statue.)
• "Yeah, okay-- am I insured for explosive damage?" (After Jack explains his plans to use the rocket in Concordia.)

During No Such Thing as a Free Launch

• "" (Refering to the Drakensburg's black box unit.)

During Treasures of ECHO Madre

• "" (When Pickle insists on going through the garbage dump to find the map.)

During Another Pickle

• "" (Asking for Eliza's tracking frequency from Abbot.)

During Let's Build a Robot Army

• "Yeah. Sure. Go for it." (On hearing that the Skipper has chosen a new name, Felicity.)
• “Great! And thanks for this.” (When Felicity accidentally activates the turrets.)
• "Yep, we’re carving a path using the tried and tested system called violence." (When Jack asks if everything is going according to plan.)
• "Um, hey Jack? This guy for real?" (Questioning the legitimacy of Gladstone's claim to being a Hyperion scientist.)
• "Ohhhhh, cooool." (After watching robots build the Constructor's oculus.)
• "THIS is what we’re building?" (On revealing the Constructor's main body.)
• "Um. I guess it's for the best." (Uploading Felicity into the Constructor.)

During Home Sweet Home

• "Yeah – uh, feeling kinda bad about Felicity. I mean, not THAT bad. But, I dunno, yeah, kinda bad." (After Jack asks how his double is doing.)
• "Stop talking. I just need a door opened." (On finding a CL4P-TP.)
• "Wrong door, moron!" (After the CL4P-TP lets enemies into the area.) 
• "GOD! YOU’RE SUPER STUPID!" (After the CL4P-TP sets off an alarm.)
• "JUST STOP SCREWING AROUND, YOU IDIOT!" (Unimpressed by it snowing indoors, thanks to the CL4P-TP.)
• "OF COURSE IT ISN’T!" (CL4P-TP loves himself and believes that's all that matters.)
• "I’m so sick of you." (When the CL4P-TP switches to a different fuse box.)
• “DO IT OR I’LL KILL YOU.” (When the CL4P-TP says that integration is dangerous.)
• "Awesome." (After the CL4P-TP fries themselves on the fuse box.)
• "The claptrap died, sir. Me. I mean… whatever. Dead, sir." (Informing Jack of the unit's demise.)
• "Great." (Agreeing with Jack over wanting to destroy the entire CL4P-TP production line.)

During An Urgent Message

• "Uhmmmm..." (Being asked to provide an authorisation code to free Professor Nakayama.)
• "Aw, whatever, screw this." (Deciding it's easier to destroy the console.)
• "No thank you." (Professor Nakayama asks to be held.)

During Handsome AI

• "Why are we the best?" (Questions asked to Jack.)
• "Do we have any family? A wife? Children?" (Reply: Next question.)
• "Describe our childhood." (Jack goes on to describe an abusive childhood.)
• "How would we like to die?" (Jack describes his idealistic end before terminating the interview.)

During Paint Job

• "Uhhh, just...draw Jack lookin' pretty or somethin'. This is all... REALLY weird to me." (Asking a CL4P-TP unit to paint a picture for Jack on Nakayama's behalf.)
• "H'okay, walking away now, in fear for my life.." (After Nakayama proclaims the mission a success and that Jack now loves him.)

During Kill Meg

• "It’s Jack! Basically." (Nakayama is paranoid about who is outside his door.)
• "Mmmmmm – no." (Nakayama asks to be friends.)

During Cleanliness Uprising

• "You’re nuts!" (After R-0513 issues death threats over cleanliness.)
• “Sure. Asshole.” (When R-0513 asks the double to return to them.)

During Hot Head

• "Take it down a peg, maybe?" (Annoyed at Dean's complaining.)

During Boarding Party

• "Your own sisters? God." (To Athena.)
• "Yeah, I’m a real charmer." (To Nisha.)
• "I dislike Claptrap, and hope he dies." (To Fragtrap.)
• "Addicted to surgeries. YOU'RE insane. Just getting my face changed was like being stabbed in the skull with a rusty screwdriver for eight hours." (To Wilhelm.)

During Voice Over

• "Sure. No problem, robot-lady." (On entering the Hyperion Hub of Heroism after accepting the quest.)
• "Okay, grab some books, right-o." (After the Voice Over lady asks for Jack to collect some books.)
• "This one doesn't have any pictures -- is that a mistake? That seems like that'd be a mistake." (After picking up the first book.)
• "'Classic Literature' -- so, like... Detective Frog." (After collecting the second book.)

During Science and Violence

• "Stop saying you're sorry, kid. It's fine. Really." (To Dr.Gladstone after he apologises repeatedly.)
• "Ugh, these things can go invisible? What?!" (Upon entering the Stalker Biome and witnessing one of the creatures cloaking.)
• "Buhbye!" (Saying goodbye to Dr.Langois.)
• "Got your teddy bear! Headin' back now." (After rescuing Dr.Torres' teddy bear.)
• "So, what’s this section of the space station for?" (Upon entering the robotics department.)
• "Dropped your keys, huh? How's that doctorate working out for you?" (Insulting Dr.Greyson)
• "Woah. Nice cloaking device." (Asking Dr.Greyson where he acquired the device used to uncloak an exit from Research and Development.)
• "Do you know HOW hands work?" (When Dr.Greyson drops the cloaking device when trying to hand it to Jack.)
• "I'm legally forbidden to tell you, but, uh -- it rhymes with 'Jimothy'." (On returning to Jack's office.)
• "Oh, no." (After Jack vents the rescued scientists out of an airlock into space.)
• "Um... whatever! Yeah -- uh, whatever you say, sir." (Jack explains why killing the scientists was a good idea.)

During It Ain't Rocket Surgery

• "I don't think these creatures HAVE wings." (When asked to retrieve 'wings' from stalkers.)
• "" (Deducing that Dr.Spara may not be an actual scientist.)

During Infinite Loop

• "Clap-things-- aren't you supposed to be makin' some guns for me?" (Asking the CL4P-TPs why they're argueing.)

During Fresh Air

• "" (After Dr.Minte vents himself into space and leaves the window open.)
• "" (Overall thoughts on the situation.)

During Lab 19

• "" (Spying a tentacle-like object on the first Dying Scientist.)
• "" (After listening to the second Dying Scientist's last words.)
• "" (On activating the console to enter Lab 19.)
• "" (Entering the lab.)
• "" (After inputting the security code.)
• "" (Witnessing the unvieling of 'The Destroyer'.)

During Watch Your Step

• "I dunno. I just work here." (Solo play. Moxxi asks what the double feels about Jack killing the scientists.)
• "" (Co-op play.)
• "Still feeling, uh, pretty good. Physically, if not morally." (Sounding disorientated after Zarpadon blows up the corridor towards the Eye of Helios.)
• "Ready whenever you are. (under breath) You psychopath." (Activating the fast travel in the command station.)
• "That’s the thing that’ll destroy the moon? What’s powering it?" (On entering the command station as the Eye fires.)

During To The Moon

• "Hey, uh -- do you wanna jump into a Moonshot Cannon and be fired at a planet?" (Trying to convince a volunteer to enter a moonshot container.)
• "Oh. Wonder what THIS does." (Using the console next to the container.)

During Eye To Eye

• "Great." (When accidentally exploding the power sources.)
• “Ow!” (When accidentally exploding the power sources.)
• “Hate this space station!” (When accidentally exploding the power sources.)
• "Oh, COME ON!" (When Jack says he and his double will have to traverse an electrified corridor.)
• "Never thought the Eye of Helios would be an actual eye." (On entering the laser core.)
• "Ummmm…" (Confused over Moxxi's instructions on how to shut down the Eye.)
• "Welp, blew my chances with her. Great. Way to go, moron." (After Moxxi explains in layman's terms.)
• "Uhhh – somethin’ going on with the eye?" (After slag is injected into the Eye.)

During Red, Then Dead

• "What?! No, idiot! If Jack's out of a job, I got all this plastic surgery for nothing! No." (Tassiter wants the double to betray Jack.)
• "I'll undo the plastic surgery and give your identity back-- plus an extra million to [missing]" (Tassiter offers a reward in the form of ...)
• "Okay you have my attention." (accepting Tassiter's reward.)
• "Was that stuff supposed to be incriminating? It seemed kind of dull." (After listening to all the ECHOs that are meant to be blackmail material.)

During Things That Go Boom

• "Weyo!" (When a newly reformatted EXP loader explodes; in reponse to 'Boom, boom, boom.')

During Picking Up The Pieces

• "" (Finding the second piece of the eye.)
• "" (Unsure if reconstructing the eye is going to work.)

During In Perfect Hibernation

• "Great! Fun conversation." (After Lazlo talks about ice weakening the bones.)
• "That sounds like a reaaaaally crappy band name." (Lazlo saying the parasites' only results are 'insane people and shattering meat chunks.')

During Trouble With Space Hurps

• "Hooookay, yeah, don't feel right -- urk... hng." (Lazlo asks how Jack is feeling once under the full influence of the parasites.)

During Eradicate!

• "Woah, they’re ATTACKING me!" (When the newly fabricated robot emerges and immediately opens fire.)
• "God, I hope Jack gets you fired, or like… yells at you, or something." (After Tassiter's constant belittling.)
• "You know what?! I’m sick of your crap!" (In response to CL4P-L3K threatening to eradicate the Vault Hunters.)

During The Beginning of the End

• "Yeah. Thanks. Just had to help kill a few innocent people and nearly got murdered by the girl of my dreams, but... yeah. Woo. Go me. ...I hate my life." (Janey congratulates the double on saving the moon and asks what he's feeling.)
• "I don’t, uh… really wanna do this anymore, but you’re my only ride off this moon, so… yeah, let’s do this! I guess." (Thoughts on Jack's plan to kill everyone who has betrayed them.)
• "I’m not you, Jack." (Choosing to let the injured Lost Legion soldier live.)
• "Sorry! Sorry, sorry." (Choosing to kill the injured Lost Legion soldier.)
• "Jack, the path to the Vault is open – I could just avoid the gunship altogether." (Jack insists that the gunship RK-5 be shot down.)
• "Why did I sign up to impersonate this guy?" (After Jack explains his reasons for not leaving any enemy alive.)
• "Uh… okay. Sir." (On shooting down the RK-5 and preparing to head to the Vault.)
• "That’s what worries me." (Arriving in Eleseer.)
• "Huh. That’s… wow. Yeah. Huh." (On closer inspection of the Vault from the outside.)
• "Woah." (Confronting the Sentinel.)

During Don't Shoot The Messenger

• "" (Brittania, Zarpadon's daughter, asks where Hanna is.)

During DAHL Combat Training: Round 1

• "" ()

During DAHL Combat Training: Round 5

• "" ()

General Quotes

Joining a game

• “Jack here. The real one.”
• “JAAAACK HERE!”
• “Who needs a hero?”
• “And the world just got twenty-five percent more handsome.”
• “Let’s kill some bad guys.”

Spotting enemies

• “Oh crap, I uh mean, bring it, I guess.”
• “Whole lotta unattractive people.”
• “Uglies, twelve o’clock!”
• “Bad guys coming in.”
• “Look at all the bad guys.”
• “Bad dudes incoming!”
• “Definitely not scared right now!”
• “UGLIES!”
• “Hi… bad guys.”
• “Here comes, uh, violence.”

Killing multiple enemies

• “Why aren’t you running!”
• “Holy crap, I’m amazing at this.”
• “Hah ha hah hah hah!”
• “This is fun!”
• “Even better than the real Jack!”
• “This is what happens when you cross Hyperion!”
• “Feel the might of Hyperion!”
• “Hah ha hah huh, this is the life!”
• “HAH HAH HAH HAH oh god what am I doing?”
• “Run assholes…RUUUNNN!”

Spotting a Badass enemy

• “Big bad guy!”
• “Badass coming!”
• “Got a badass”
• “Dumbass incoming.”
• “Hello there.”
• “Badassss.”
• “Aw crap, badass!”
• “Heh-hey, badass!”
• “We gonna do something about this badass?”
• “Big ass mouth breather!”

Killing a Badass enemy

• “Bye-bye, Badass!”
• “Later Badass!”
• ”That’s one less Badass.”
• “Badass, heh.”
• “What a chump.”
• “The only badass around here is me slash Jack.”
• “I actually killed him? I mean, uh, ha-ha-huh I’m so cool.”
• “Ahh shut it, dumbass.”
• “Put a freaking sock in it.”
• “Man, I’m good.”

Freezing an enemy

• “Stay put! Ya get it? ‘Cuz he’s frozen.”
• “Feelin’ the chill?!”
• “Bad guy popsicle!”
• “Heehee, he’s frozen!”
• “He’s not movin’ any time soon!”
• “Ya need a sweater?”
• “Now you’re stuck with that dumb look on your face!”
• “Now, you stay right there, mister!”
• “*hysterical laughing* What a doofus.”
• “Crazy weather around here, huh?”
• “Iced him up!”
• “Not making an ice pun! Not this time.” 
• "Froze the Bastard." 

Shattering a frozen enemy

• “Pah-ha-ha-ha!”
• “Man, that’s pretty.”
• “That dude shattered. Whaaat?”
• “Hah! He was totally like ‘Pssh! Ahh, no’!”
• “Heh, that was fun.”
• "Well, that’s new.”
• “Nice.”
• “It’s like a snow globe, but awesome.”
• “Boom.”
• “Shoulda worn a sweater.”

Scoring critical kills

• "Awww, this was a new shirt!"
• “That was… graphic.”

Running out of ammo

• “Whoops.”
• “Outta ammo.”
• “Jack is not great at counting.”
• “Ugh, dry!”
• “Aw crap.”
• “Ammo? Anybody?”
• “Friggin’ gun!”
• “Ugh, dammit!”
• “Son of a… (BITCH, only said sometimes)”
• “Wonderful.”

Being crippled

• “Ugh you’re kidding me.”
• “Just stand where I can see you, assholes.”
• “This is gonna get bloody.”
• “I’m not dying on a freakin’ moon.”
• “You just messed up.”
• “Oh, it’s serious now.”
• ”Do you know who I am? I’m… sorta Jack.”
• “Let’s go, COME ON!”
• “Son of a bastard!”
• “You just made such a big mistake.”
• “Well, this is irritating.”
• “My jobs not done yet.”
• “You got lucky.”
• “Time to kill something.”
• “Let’s get ugly.”

Getting revived

• “Thanks, uh, babe.”
• “I’ll totally make out with you later and stuff, thanks.”
• “You? You’re awesome.”
• “Uh, great. I hate dying.”
• “Uh, cool, thanks.”
• “No no no don’t touch the face, it might explode.”
• “Yeah, teamwork. Woo!”
• [sarcastically] "My hero.”

Getting a Second Wind

• “And Jack’s back!”
• “Go me.”
• “Surprising no one.”
• “Obviously.”
• “Miss me?”
• ‘Let’s not do that again.”
• “Heh-hey I’m not dead, how about that?
• “Boom!”
• “I win!”
• “Hah!”

When Wilhelm Activates Wolf and Saint

• “Nice drones."
• "Cool robot... thingy!"
• “Make those yourself?"
• “Robot man making robots... huh."
• "We got air support from Wilhelm!"

When Nisha Activates Showdown

• “Looking badass, Nisha!"
• "Hands where she can see them, bad guys!"
• "The lawbringer's in town, suckers!"
• "Ya need cover Nisha? No? Ya good? Cool."

When Claptrap Activates VaultHunter.EXE

• “Uugh, you're the worst!"
• "I hate you so much, Claptrap."
• "I can't believe Jack made you."
• "Please don't dance, please don't dance!!"
• "Try to do something useful this time?"

Activating Expendable Assets

• “I need backup!”
• “Multiply the prettiness!”
• “Give me another Jack!”
• “I see how you deal with lots of me!”
• “JACK. IN!”
• “Double up!”
• “But which one is the real me?”
• “I need a pair of Jacks!”
• “Backup, give me backup!”
• “Let’s get sexy…ugh.”
• “I need some heroes!”
• “Good looks incoming.”
• “Handsomeness, impending.”
• “Let’s double the doubles.”
• “More Jacks.”
• “I’ll drown you in a sea of chiseled jaws!”
• “Handsomeness!”
• “Holograms active.”
• “Can’t find me.”
• “I’ll give ya something to shoot at!”
• “Go get ‘em boys!”
• “Holo-Jacks out!”

Killing an enemy with Expendable Assets

• “You’re almost as good a fake Jack as me.”
• “Doing Jack proud.”
• “That’s a fact… me.”
• “Don’t do too well, you’re making me look bad.”’
• “Good kill, other Jack.”
• “Atta boy, Jack!”
• “From one Jack to another, well done.”
• “Don’t screw with Jack!”
• “Thanks… other Jack.”
• “FEAR. THIS. FACE!”
• “That’s right, the good guys are here.”
• “That kill was sponsored by Hyperion.”
• “Eh, maybe this body double program wasn’t so crazy.”
• “Double friggin’ trouble.”
• “If you see this face, RUN!”
• “You don't know — my name! AWWWWWW, we did it, folks, yeah, we did it!”

Activating Inspire

• "Hey. Believe in your dreams."
• "Everybody: you're looking SUPER handsome."
• "Guys, you're ALL cool!"
• "Hang in there, everybody!"
• "Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you'll... something, something, stars!"
• "D'you know who you remind me of? Myself."
• "Don't believe in yourself; believe in me, because I believe in you!"
• "Be true to yourself!"
• "You're doing pretty well!"
• "Be the change you want to see in the world!"
• "You MUST be great -- you're hanging out with me!"
• "NEVER limit yourself!"
• "Follow your HEART! And STUFF!"
• "It's in our moments of decision that destiny is shaped!"
• "YOU'RE not the ugliest person I've ever met!"
• "You've got a great personality!"
• "You know what's awesome? You."
• "You're -- uh -- special?"
• "Hey, player! You're really good at this game!"
• "You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to."

Activating Leadership

• “Leadership!”
• “Your sacrifice is appreciated!”
• “Good minion!”
• “One down, one up!”
• “Wrong Jack, suckers!”

Shooting an enemy with Compound Interest

• "Compound interest!"
• “Holy crap, I’m rich!”
• “Sell, sell, sell!”
• “I gotta call my broker, guys.”

Picking up money with Money is Power

• “Money is power!”
• "Oh it’a good to be rich."
• "One percent suckers!"
• “Oh I just came into some money.”
• “Welcome to the money zone.”

Completing a challenge

• “No big deal!”
• “Oh hey, I’m awesome. How about that?”
• “Pfft, challenge. Heh.”
• “I com… I completed a challenge? I mean, yeah, go me. Woo!”
• "Another challenge down, blap-blap!"

Leveling up

• “Feelin’ handsomer!”
• “Hard work being this good. No, it’s not.”
• “Jacked up! Yeah, I said that!”
• “And my charisma increases!”
• “Oooh ho ho ho ho, I like that!”
• “One step closer to the real thing.”
• “Ding!”
• “Guess this job has its upsides.”
• “It’s good to be Jack.”
• “Almost makes the horrific plastic surgery worth it.”

Spotting health

• “Health!”
• “Healing!”
• “Health hypo!”
• “Anybody need healing?”
• “Med hypo.”

Spotting rare loot

• “Well hey there.”
• “Now THAT is pretty.”
• “Woah.”
• “Mine!”
• “Hey! Not crappy loot.”

Equipping powerful loot

• “Huh-ho!”
• “Yeah, this is gonna be good.”
• “So THIS is what it’s all about.”
• “I feel… badass.”
• “LAAAADIES!”

Issuing a duel challenge

• “I want YOU!”
• “Get the lead out, fightin’ time.”
• “We doing this or what?”
• “Sure, I won’t regret this at all.”
• “Err, don’t go easy on me just because I pay your salary.”

Receiving a duel challenge

• “Seriously?”
• “You can’t be that dumb.”
• “AAAAY! Watch the face.”
• “This face wasn’t cheap, man.”
• “Dude.”

Winning a duel

• “Heh-hey, how about that?”
• “Aw, don’t take it too hard.”
• “Nothing personal, I’m just better than most people.”
• “Yeaaah, that happens”
• “Don’t mess with Jack… cupcake.”

Losing a duel

• “I’d slept on my arm weird.”
• “Nah, that… that didn’t happen.”
• “Yeah I won. Nobody can tell me I didn’t.”
• “Crap.”
• “Waste of my friggin’ time.”

Tying a duel

• “Well, that’s frustrating.”
• “A tie. That’s stupid.”
• “Well, ties go to Jack so…”
• “Kinda impressed that happened.”
• “At least I didn’t lose.”

Vehicle catching air/riding jump pad

• “AHHHH!”
• “I freakin’ hate heights!”
• “WOAH!”
• “GUHHH!”
• “CRAAAAP!”

Flip car

• “Great.”
• “Awesome.”
• “I hate everything.”
• “You’re kidding me.”
• “Yep, that figures.”

Vehicle low health

• “Don’t explode.”
• [sniffing] "I smell burning.”
• [coughing] "Hold together.”
• “Really don’t feel like exploding today!”
• “Just hold on you scrap heap.”

Hitting an enemy with vehicle

• “Pfffft hah hah hah!”
• “Sorry! No, I’m not sorry!”
• “Should’ve moved.“
• “Boop.”
• “Alright, that ones kinda funny.”
• “Oooh!”
• “Hah!”
• “Oops”
• “Moron.”
• “Ouch.”

Crashing into vehicle

• “Hi.”
• “Welp.”
• “How you doing”
• “’Scuse me.”
• “Coming through.”
• “Ow.”
• “I remember my first time driving.”
• “Drive much?”
• “Least I got insurance, I think!”
• “Heh!”

Destroyed other vehicle

• “Heh-ha’ll right!”
• “Hah hah hah hah hah!”
• “Huhhhh, explosions.”
• “Badda boom!”
• “Ka-boom!”

Swapping vehicle seats

• “Hey, let’s switch.”
• “I’m sittin’ on something weird. Switch with me.”
• “This seat sucks. Want to switch?”
• “Can I borrow that seat?”
• “Wanna switch seats?”

Comparing loot

• “Which one of you is least crap?”
• “One of you’s got’s to go.”
• “You’re all so pretty.”
• "It's like choosing between the ladies, or something. I don't know. God, I hate this guy."
• “Hmm, what do we got here?”
• “Which one of you will cause the most pain?”

Looking at map

• “Okay, where on this crap heap am I?”
• “Aaaand…lost.”
• “Where do I want to get shot at next?”
• “A whole world of violence right at my fingertips.”
• “Next stop, violence.”

Looking at skill screen

• “Let’s get awesome.“
• “So many skills, so little patience for reading.”
• “Ohhh what to master next?”
• “There are some perks to this job after all.”
• “Vault hunters aren’t born, they’re specced.”

Idle

• “Something something hero stuff. Something something I’m attractive.”
• “Anybody watching? Great. God, this character, right? Such an insufferable piece of shi… heh-hay. Somebody’s listening. I’m Jack and I’m the best and I love being Jack. Three cheers for Jack. I’m great.”
• “I should be at home with mom, not hanging out on the MOON getting SHOT at. Stupid student loans.”
• “Community college is a valid option, that’s all I’m saying. You get your general credits done for cheap THEN you finish at a university. The stupid ass interest rates and the stupid ass professors telling me to join one of the stupid ass corporations ruined my stupid ass life.”
• “How egocentric does this guy have to be to hire body doubles? The dudes just a programmer. That’s like a grocery store clerk wearing kevlar. You’re not important enough to kill man, hello.”
• “Finally off the clock. God, I hate this place. Even the nice people are murderers.”
• “I miss my old face. I miss my freckles.”
• “Poor mom. I mean, when I took the body double gig they had to fake my death. She was laughing when they told her but I’m sure she was crying, you know, on the inside, sobbing. Well, fairly sure.”
• “I’m… guhhhh. Voice modulator really hurts. I ever get hired full time I’m deactivating this thing.”
• “Only six more years ’til my contracts up, then it’s back to being ugly and poor. Can’t wait!”

Waiting for level transition

• “That’s cool. I’ll… I’ll wait.”
• “No biggie, I’m gettin’ paid by the hour.”
• “Anybody, uh, anybody there?”
• “What’s going on? Are we doing this? Just asking.”
• “Juuuust waitin’.”

Borderlands 3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot

During The Handsome Jackpot

• "Help me! I can't get outta here!"

• "Can ANYONE hear me?"

• "N-n-no, don't shoot -- this is NOT what it looks like!"

• "I am NOT Jack! Not at all!"

• "Again, I cannot stress this enough, I am NOT Handsome Jack."

• "Okay, look, it's all... quite simple: I was a body double, I got paid to look like Jack, talk like Jack, and yeah, I got injected with some of Jack's DNA, so from time to time I want to strangle kittens. It's a long story. But my name is just Timothy."

• "Look, I know every unfortunate face in this casino, but you're -- you're from the outside. No one would be crazy enough to come here. Wait, are you a Vault Hunter?!"

• "Hah-hah, join the club, buttface! Oh, there's that DNA again. Oh, but y'know what? Maybe we can help each other out. This-a-way."

• "Here's some gear for you, pumpkin."

• "Alright, now I gotta get this transporter working before that JACKHOLE sends more loaders after me."

• "C'mon, Vault Hunter. Over here."

• "Okay, that's Jack's tower. Or at least, it used to be. These days, it's Pretty Boy's base of operations. He runs the casino now. A-hole's been trying to kidnap me for... reasons."

• "Ah yeah, death turrets. Classic Jack. He hated anyone touchin' his stuff. Stay clear if you want to, you know... NOT die horribly."
• "Stupid freakin'..."
• "Okay, this teleporter's fried. Ugh, that chode-face Pretty Boy must've sabotaged it so he could get his sweaty little tiny gross sausage fingers on me."
• "Gotta fix this if I'm gonna get back to the hideout safe. Ugh, that little monster's probably sending more loaders as we speak. Ooh idea!"
• "Follow this fine ass, cupcake. Ugh, god."
• "I gotta get that teleporter fixed -- might be a spare part in that room. Take a gander."
• "Oh, yeah, you should take this. Corrosive melts away loader bot armor like skin. It also melts... skin."

During All Bets Off

• "Ow! Oh, Vault Hunter! You actually came for me! I'm freakin' trapped, so... don't die, otherwise this -- this is on you!"
• "Aw, bad sounds! Those are bad sounds! What the hell is happening?!"
• "Ohhohh, titty sprinkles! He's sent the whole casino into the black hole's gravity well! We're all gonna be spaghetti in a second! Vault Hunter -- Jack's command console is over there! You gotta override the protocol!"
• "No-no-no-no! Vault Hunter, come get me out of this cell! Hurry!"
• "Crap crap crap!"
• "Argh! I can't reach the pad without getting sliced to ribbons. Shart-knuckles! This is a real Jack-22."
• "Owww!"
• "Okay, uh... V-Vault Hunter, just... go, I guess! I, I... this place was never gonna let me leave anyway, right? So... uh... I'm really sorry, Moxxi. I guess this means no second date."
• "Okay, wait -- wait, wait, wait, I... have an idea, just... give me a second."
• "This is really, REALLY gonna suck, so you... might wanna plug your ears, kiddos."
• "HOT DIGGITY SHIIIIT!"
• "Hghh, rgrhrgh! Oh my GOD!"
• "Yyyeah, that'll do the trick, just... get it to the console, kiddo..."
• "Oh yeah, that's great, I'm just... I'm just gonna go ahead and... pass out now..."
• "Moxxi... y'know, I've been wondering... why did you say yes to dinner that night?"
• "Yeah, but Jack... he was the worst..."
• "So... heh... I didn't even fool you a little?"

Idle dialogue

• "You would not believe some of the stuff Jack sent me to do. I met some crazy fans. Signed a dead guy, once. For his widow."
• "I've been in a constant state of panic for the last seven years, which was only slightly worse than before. Just... slightly."
• "Well, you know, on the bright side, I... actually can't think of a bright side..."
• "I never really resented Lilith, but after Jack got his scar he branded all of us body doubles to match, so, heh... guess I'm a little miffed about that..."
• "Got to ride Butt Stallion once, that was... fun..."
• "I do parties, if you're interested. Birthdays, bat mitzvahs, book signings. My schedule's, uh... embarrassingly open."
• "Did you know there are places with entire holidays about Jack? Día del Guapo, Jacktober -- ooh, Jackentine's Day! You haven't seen weird until you've watched a whole town cut a cake shaped like your face."
• "Hey, you didn't... see any of those movies Jack made me do, right? --You know what, forget I mentioned it."
• "I took the doppleganger job because I had to get out of student debt, but honestly, I... can't even remember why I went to school in the first place..."
• "I'm the last of my kind! Kinda cool. But mostly sad."