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General Knoxx Twitter

alphonso

@GeneralKnoXX

General Knoxx posts on Twitter under the username @GeneralKnoXX. The account was first active on February 2, 2010, and was confirmed to be an official source of information by Gearbox Software on February 9, 2010.[1]

His account officially went offline on March 14, 2010.[2]

On July 15, 2010, his account was reactivated.[3]

No activity since February 2011.

Archive (Jan. 2011 - Feb. 2011)[]

#
Date/Time
(UTC)
Text
From
In reply to
97 10:18 PM - 11 Feb 11 well @kevinacarter at least i don't look like helena bonham carter had a child with mike tyson's face tattoo. TweetDeck kevinacarter
96 10:06 PM - 11 Feb 11 *new-u even. stupid tweetergram machine. it time travels about as good as my last boss sold shoes. i.e. its hard when you're dead in a gutter TweetDeck
95 10:04 PM - 11 Feb 11 oh please @Kaylila surely you've heard of the new- station. i practically own stock in it at this point. TweetDeck Kaylila
94 9:59 PM - 11 Feb 11 it smells fat in here. did somebody eat a multitude of skinny people? TweetDeck
93 6:36 PM - 31 Jan 11 @MightySquid that's funny because i haven't missed you at all. you're like that cancer. you know, cancer? TweetDeck MightySquid
92 6:28 PM - 31 Jan 11 it's Tuesday here, and we're celebrating ridding our language of the insipid capital letter. on that day, the internet was fixed forever TweetDeck
91 8:41 PM - 28 Jan 11 .@sinwar14 I never said she was alive. TweetDeck sinwar14
90 8:32 PM - 28 Jan 11 well, @sinwar14 mom jokes aren't common, i was pointing out our coital infidelity. i believe your century calls it "porking" #iporkedyourmom TweetDeck sinwar14
89 8:29 PM - 28 Jan 11 hey @sinwar14 that's not what your mother said last night when she tried on a pair of the boots. (that's all she was wearing.) TweetDeck sinwar14
88 8:25 PM - 28 Jan 11 okay, customer gone. poisoned. he wanted a size 8?? what kind of man wears a size 8? these are bullet proof boots, not garden sandals... TweetDeck
87 8:17 PM - 28 Jan 11 what's this follow Friday nonsense? Friday was eliminated in the great human/gorok uprising in late 2100s. oops, have a customer here... TweetDeck
86 10:28 PM - 27 Jan 11 @psychichazard how do you know about spacecake?!?!? TweetDeck psychichazard
85 10:22 PM - 27 Jan 11 for those wondering, i don't really fight so much anymore. my new job is selling corrective metal space boots for scoliosis patients TweetDeck
84 9:14 PM - 27 Jan 11 also space tacos are pretty good, but i would stay away from space nachos. i got space chlamydia from those. TweetDeck
83 9:12 PM - 27 Jan 11 .@e_marroquin who is duke nukem? is he the guy that owns the space burrito joint on farflax? space burritos > piddly earth burritos TweetDeck e_marroquin
82 8:18 PM - 27 Jan 11 no news to share, just came back to mock you all a second time. also i have a pretty great pork chop recipe TweetDeck
81 8:07 PM - 27 Jan 11 the wonders of modern medicine, and by modern i mean the future RT @madzfox: @GearboxSoftware What the hell, you're alive? TweetDeck madzfox
GearboxSoftware
80 8:05 PM - 27 Jan 11 i'm back baby! let's trade phone numbers #phonecallstothefuturecostmoreexceptonverizon TweetDeck
79 6:19 PM - 27 Jan 11 @GearboxSoftware i'm watching you guys now. whatever drunken duckbutt you got raping the keyboard over there, fire him (out of a cannon) TweetDeck GearboxSoftware

Archive (July 2010 - December 2010)[]

#
Date/Time
(UTC)
Text
From
In reply to
78 2010-12-11 4:54 PM i already and obviously know who won the award because i'm in the future and you're not. which makes you suck more than you probably think TweetDeck
77 2010-12-11 4:46 PM so tune into spike TV to watch me win the awards for best dlc of the year and sexiest robotic jump kick. TweetDeck
76 2010-12-11 4:46 PM 'sup from the future. capitalization still banned. apparently i'm up for an award tonight or something TweetDeck
75 2010-08-06 9:51 PM @C0nn0rmcl corruption from the wormhole i used to register my tweetergrams so far in the past on a distant world web C0nn0rmcl
74 2010-08-06 9:45 PM @Barrymoves i know right? check that guy out. may not have capital letters in the future but we certainly understand how an apostrophe works web Barrymoves
73 2010-08-06 9:40 PM @Platformgod my name was bequeathed to me on my grandfathers death bed (i put him there. stabbed him a lot.) knoxx means warrior of horses web Platformgod
72 2010-08-06 9:33 PM @Watermanx you are wise beyond a babies years. your profile says you're a "collage student." paper mache is a major in your earth time? web Watermanx
71 2010-08-06 9:26 PM @Watermanx you should cry like a small girlchild weeping over missing legs and arms. boo hoo. web Watermanx
70 2010-08-06 9:24 PM @Watermanx odd, because i'm tweeting about you and you're not cool. web Watermanx
69 2010-08-06 9:06 PM #unfollowfriday @reverendanthony for grievous fault against @mikeyface web
68 2010-08-05 9:46 PM you speak of @Legendrew with acclaim. i heard he sleeps with a teddy skag and can't read a book without farting. just a thing i heard web
67 2010-08-05 9:39 PM found an intruder snooping around the perimeter. information he obtained before i inverted his spine is shaky at best... web
66 2010-07-19 12:58 PM @SourMurderFish the best you could come up with was sourmurderfish? i eat those for breakfast, lunch and space dinner. murderfish plz web SourMurderFish
65 2010-07-15 9:46 PM @Legendrew admiral mikey is no longer with us. he fell down some stairs. about 30,000 of them. web Legendrew
64 2010-07-15 9:42 PM @phkna yup. pretty flimsy. did you get joke tips from ralphie may? web phkna
63 2010-07-15 9:28 PM got an influx of flimsy insults wrapped in slack-jawed yokelry. #idiotsspamminggods web
62 2010-07-15 7:04 PM @KevinACarter your photo looks like a late night tv ad for a cheap lawyer web KevinACarter

61

2010-07-15 6:57 PM @MMA_Craig the only thing you'll be raiding is your mother's underwear drawer looking for food. web MMA_Craig
60 2010-07-15 6:50 PM @mikeyface they don't have capital letters in the future. where i'm from.which is nothing like that blue person movie with the dragon horses web mikeyface
59 2010-07-15 6:48 PM tap. tap. is this on? had to turn my tweetergramming machine back on. just got some new orders. (sent from the future.) web

Archive (Feb. 2010 - Mar. 2010)[]

This is a manually updated listing of all the tweets, with the times listed in UTC (+8 hours from Pacific time).

#
Date/Time
(UTC)
Text
From
In reply to
58 2010-03-14 10:17 AM this is general knoxx, going offline. web
57 2010-02-26 8:51 AM @TehSkull ugh. admiral mikey's french toast is made of bread, sour patch kids from the future, and springs Seesmic TehSkull
56 2010-02-26 8:45 AM @jigsawhc jelly is for girls and also armless smaller girls. Seesmic jigsawhc
55 2010-02-26 8:40 AM @Hooligunn fool. killed some of my decoys did you? my imaginary son could do that with his imaginary eyes closed. Seesmic Hooligunn
54 2010-02-26 8:38 AM anybody want toast? i'm making toast. Seesmic
53 2010-02-26 8:38 AM sorry tweetergram groupies, i got caught up with an influx of insurgent dick bags. killed most of 'em. how is your day? Seesmic
52 2010-02-23 N/A there are reports that the invasion is delayed until tomorrow. not true. don't believe the tweetergrams. i will rock all faces off today. Seesmic
51 2010-02-23 N/A troops will deploy today if all goes to plan. just met a man named mord-ee-kai. dude, eat something. Seesmic
50 2010-02-23 N/A preparing the troops for dominationing. might need reinforcements. anyone up for dying in my honor? Seesmic
49 2010-02-22 22:30 @lizzieskwrl it's true. we lost the capital letter in the charzachary wars some forty decades ago. web lizzieskwrl
48 2010-02-22 22:28 (nobody tells me nothin.) web
47 2010-02-22 22:27 well, time tables got all moved around. looks like the invasion is on tomorrow. be seeing you (and killing you!) then. web
46 2010-02-19 22:21 i had to find an antique tweetergramming machine to type in capital letters like that. Seesmic
45 2010-02-19 22:21 finishing up training the new assassin lance for more dominationing. they're not quite ready yet, but one might say they're COMING VERY SOON Seesmic
44 2010-02-19 22:19 @HoboBeardBen demand something from me again and you'll be scraping whats left of your teeth out of your eyeballs. Seesmic HoboBeardBen
43 2010-02-19 22:17 @johnbelden you took a mans gamertag even though i'm from the future and already knew that? Seesmic johnbelden
42 2010-02-19 20:25 lots of people tweetergramming me today about some "interviews" with some hellfist character about me. apparently more incoming. Seesmic
41 2010-02-18 17:28 just had marketing run some movie preview thing past me about myself. they called it a... trailer? but it didn't look like a truck to me. Seesmic
40 2010-02-17 15:42 perhaps the lance will be open to recruitment. i need some solid fodder Seesmic
39 2010-02-17 15:20 just spoke with my superiors and it sounds like we can begin recruiting again soon. the lance will rise again. Seesmic
38 2010-02-16 17:20 @symonds1990 the day i tremble before the likes of one of you is the day i sell my mother to space pirates for a second time Seesmic symonds1990
37 2010-02-16 14:02 @pavieca do not speak at me as if battling me will result in anything but your body turning to a fine mist like a capri sun in a microwave web pavieca
36 2010-02-16 13:48 just got chewed on by my new commander for that t bone incident. no, i did not typed "chewed out" wrong so put your freud away. web
35 2010-02-15 20:50 this wasn't me but something happened in t bone junction that totally wasn't me. (this wasn't me.) Seesmic
34 2010-02-15 17:03 pretty sure i'd just go in shooting if there weren't all these pesky guidelines like "don't murder civies" by my new commanding officer. Seesmic
33 2010-02-15 15:28 t bone junction is a haven for teenage partying. Seesmic
32 2010-02-14 21:44 incoming ear ringer tweetergram photos. pulled them off of my former secre-friendy's charred carcus. rip cindy- wait, cynthia? i dunno. web
31 2010-02-13 15:21 also met a man named scooter today. asked me if i wanted to catch his ride. almost killed him for coming onto me. web
30 2010-02-13 15:19 walked around t-bone junction today.took some tweetergram photos.my secre-friendy needs to post them but i think she might be out dead today web
29 2010-02-13 15:16 @StygianEmporor granted. web StygianEmporor
28 2010-02-11 01:50 avast! tweetergram leaks ahoy. people on the space machine web have discovered what level my power is. 60 just aint high enough. web
27 2010-02-10 20:01 inspected the new recruits today. kyros, typhon, theron, and ajax had a four way tie for unmanliest name. Seesmic
26 2010-02-10 15:55 began construction on a super secret hideout, sorry can't tell you where it is, did put up some signs though just in case recruits get lost Seesmic
25 2010-02-10 13:51 @justryan13 roland? i remember him. did two tours of prometheus before wearing his guilt like a sun dress. web justryan13
24 2010-02-09 21:28 the admiral who ordered me to this roller rink of a planet was killed today in a freak sighing accident. replacement to be named. *sigh* Seesmic
23 2010-02-09 17:22 //@# -- my secre-friendy just spilled coffee all over my tweetergram sender! ()#(/// ....!!!//3/3 great. Seesmic
22 2010-02-09 17:07 @Quesos_Mojados your puerile attempts at humor bore me. i trust a skag will shit you out on a later occassion Seesmic Quesos_Mojados
21 2010-02-09 16:53 @jason_omega and i have two words for you: tooth and brush Seesmic jason_omega
20 2010-02-09 16:40 RT @useruser3: @GeneralKnoXX you have lost both mccloud and Steele |gn| that is classified! did you have something to do with that? Seesmic
19 2010-02-09 16:33 corp. reiss has informed me of jakobs being overrun by a zombie infestation. serves 'em right! guns from wood? whats next, flying cars? Seesmic
18 2010-02-09 14:16 this is my last tweetergram for the moment. i will be updating the situation on pandora to my superiors and taking cell ear ringer shots web
17 2010-02-09 14:11 @CorduroryNinja the crimson lance is for serious rough and tumble soldiers, also suicidal thoughts are a plus web CorduroryNinja
16 2010-02-09 14:09 for those of you that promise nicely not to try and kill me for my numerous crimes against humanity and ferrets, i'll take photos of stuff4u web
15 2010-02-09 14:05 my name is general alphonso knoxx, first general of the crimson lance, son of guillermo delphino knoxx III, consider this my introduction web
14 2010-02-09 14:01 it seems some of you lot think it wise to anta-gah...niz-- make fun of me, i lost my train of thought, but i'll beat your asses web
13 2010-02-09 00:56 @CaptBoDangles13 i have many things to do. i just arrived on pandora a few days ago. i get here and my second in command is skewered! Seesmic CaptBoDangles13
12 2010-02-09 00:38 RT @RnDxJha: @GeneralKnoxx So what is your take on Moxxi? |gk| is that the old chick in the clown makeup trying to not look 40? Seesmic
11 2010-02-08 23:23 @VaultHunter thats your name? vaulthunter? didn't they find that already? more like @vaultfounder Seesmic VaultHunter
10 2010-02-08 23:06 @Legendrew watch your step boy. i lost my eye in a fight with myself . ps. i won Seesmic Legendrew
9 2010-02-08 23:01 @Kyidro do you bore your mother with that mouth (boosh, double entendre) Seesmic Kyidro
8 2010-02-08 22:53 RT @danielpiers: My lvl 50 Mordecai is gonna kick your ass. |gn| i'm a lot higher than level 50 so you better try again Seesmic
7 2010-02-08 22:47 who are these people appearing on my window screen? @danielpiers ? your face looks like a grapefruit pooped Seesmic
6 2010-02-08 22:40 i said that right? tweetergrams are when you take photos with your cellular ear ringer? Seesmic
5 2010-02-08 22:39 heres a photo from worlds largest bullet. me & the misse- erhm, secretary are out taking tweetergrams of the areas Seesmic
4 2010-02-03 20:42 these damn camera phones never seem to work. i'll have the inventor drawn, quartered, and made into cutlets. Seesmic
3 2010-02-03 20:40 people are hacking into my tweeter database. smokescreen deployed. no one can see what we're planning. hot dogs are tastiest w/ mustard. web
2 2010-02-02 09:17 no one capitalizes in the future. just thought you'd like to know in the event you point it out. oh, my tweets time travel, by the way. web
1 2010-02-02 09:11 okay. so my secretary signed me up for this thing.apparently i have to be careful about how many words i type or it won't send the entire me web

Images[]

Various images posted by General Knoxx.

Tfvr

these damn camera phones never seem to work. i'll have the inventor drawn, quartered, and made into cutlets. 20:42, February 3, 2010

File:Tsuu.jpg

heres a photo from worlds largest bullet. me & the misse- erhm, secretary are out taking tweetergrams of the areas 22:39, February 8, 2010

Eq6a

t bone junction is a haven for teenage partying. 15:28, February 15, 2010

A4sn

this wasn't me but something happened in t bone junction that totally wasn't me. (this wasn't me.) 20:50, February 15, 2010

Trivia[]

  • Knoxx claims that "nobody capitalizes in the future", and that his tweets time-travel. It is used as a running joke in some of his tweets. He claims to have needed to use an antique tweetergramming machine to type in capitals.

See Also[]

External links[]

References[]

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