Claptrap/Quotes

For quotes by generic Claptrap units, see Claptrap_(robots)#Quotes

ECHO Recordings

Personal Recording

Jack: Claptrap -- start bootup sequence.

Claptrap: Directive one: Protect humanity! Directive two: Obey Jack at all costs. Directive three: Dance!

Jack: No no no no! Cancel directive three!

Claptrap: Commencing directive three! Uhntssuhntssuhntss--

Jack: Ugh, friggin' hate that guy.

Claptrap (commenting): Ahh -- one of my very first startup sequences! The memories...

Interplanetary Ninja Chatterbox

Merciless Killing Machine: The inner workings of a monicidal apparatus.

ECHO 1:

Jack: Ah, man, I am so late!

Jack: NO! Son of a... HEY! You! Yeah yeah, Claptrap unit!

Claptrap: Who -- uh, me sir?

Jack: Oh, no, I'm sorry the OTHER Hyperion piece of metal crap that can open doors for me. I'm sorry.

Claptrap: I can do more than open doors sir! We CL4P-TP units can be programmed to do anything from open doors to ninja-sassinate highly important Janitory officals!

Jack: Yeahyeahyeah, just -- wait, you can actually do that?

Claptrap: Certainly!

Claptrap: I once started a revolution myself. There were lots of guns and a lot of dying. You'd think I would have gotten some better benefits out of the whole thing but no, demoted back to door-opening servitude!

Jack: Yeahyeahyeahyeah, got it, just shut up and open the door. I'm late for the quarterly meeting.

Claptrap: Sure thing, sir! Aaaand OPEN! Have a lovely afternoon, and thank you for using Hyperion Robot Services. Let me know if you have any other portal-rific needs!

Jack: Oh, I will. I most certainly will.

ECHO 2:

Jack: When you say "failsafe"... what is it you mean exactly?

Engineer Dockett: I mean exactly that John. All CL4P-TP units have a built in failsafe that prevents them from being tampered with.

Jack: Y-yeah, but for like, bandits and stuff. Not other Hyperion personnel!

Engineer Dockett: INCLUDING other Hyperion personnel. Just feel lucky you didn't pick one that spontaneously combusted, or you'd have more then a migraine from too much bass.

Jack: Thanks for all your HELP, Dockett.

Jack: That guy. If I can't get rid of Claptrap's dance protocols I'll have to... work around them. Hey, Angel?

Angle: Yes, Jack?

Jack: Run an an analysis on how many subroutines we'd have to include to minimize the potential that my prototype won't drop what he's doing and sing karaoke.

ECHO 3:

Angel: Umm, Jack?

Jack: What is it Angel?

Angel: There are too many variables to allow for a complete overhaul of the Prototype's systems. You may just have to settle for... a flawed product. Or try a different model. CL4P's are out dated by three generations, with marked improvements.

Jack: Nah, thats not the point. The newer versions don't have the space and flexibility I need to make this work. I NEED someone that can think for themselves, but can't disobey an order. Like, say, "Don't open your presents until Mercenary Day".

Angel: Sorry.  Perhaps if you re-routed some of the L-cache and bypassed memory sequencing --

Jack: -- Yeah, I... well, hey, that might actually work. He'd lose most of his memories, but, come on. It's just a robot. It's not like it had feelings or anything.

ECHO 4:

Claptrap: Booting sequence complete. Hello! I am your new steward bot. Designation: CL4P-TP, Hyperion Robot, Class C. Please adjust factory settings to meet your needs before deployment.

Jack: Finally! Can you hear me? What do you remember?

Claptrap: Yes. Remember what? Are... are you my father?

Jack: Ah, no... uh, you --

Claptrap: -- Are you god? Am I dead?

Jack: Nonono, you're not dead, you're --

Claptrap: I'M DEAD I'M DEAD OHMYGOD I'M DEAD!

Jack: You. Are. Not. Dead! Your new designation is FR4G-TP. Fragtrap. You are a merciless killing machine. Got it?

Claptrap: O-KAY! Thanks for giving me a second chance, God. I really apperciate it.

Jack: What? No, nooo, you are so STUPID! Whatever. You're welcome.

Gameplay (The Pre-Sequel)

Character selection

• "Hey everybody! Check out my package!"
• "Let's get this party started!"
• "Glitching weirdness is a term of endearment, right?"
• "Recompiling my combat code!"
• "This time it'll be awesome, I promise!"
• "Look out everybody! Things are about to get awesome!"

Joining a game

Spotting health

Running out of ammo

Jumping a gap

• "Wheeeee!"
• "Yahooooo!"
• "And now we observe the rare and beautiful clappy bird."

Meleeing an enemy

• "Hyah!"
• "Take that!"
• "Bop!"

Killing an enemy

• "I am a tornado of death and bullets!"

Killing multiple enemies

• "Hehehehe..."

Killing a Badass (or higher) enemy

• "You call yourself a badass?"
• "Wow, did I really do that?"
• "Can, can I open my eyes now?"

Freezing an enemy

• "Now I want a snowcone."
• "Take a chill pill!"
• "Cryo me a river!"
• "Freeze! I don't know why I said that."
• "Don't cryo!"
• "Frigid."
• "Solid! Get it? As in frozen?"
• "ICE swear to God." (Needs confirmation)

Taking elemental damage

• "My assets... are frozen!" (Taking frost damage)
• "I can't feel my fingers! Gah! I don't have any fingers!" (Taking frost damage)
• "Too cold, can't move!" (Taking frost damage)
• "I am a robot-popsicle!" (Taking frost damage)
• "So cold... brrh..." (Taking frost damage)
• "Why do I even feel pain?!" (Taking fire, corrosive or shock damage)
• "Why did they build me out of galvanised flesh?!" (Taking fire, corrosive or shock damage)

Getting a Critical Hit

• "Pop pop!"
• "Crit-i-cal!"
• "That looks like it hurt!"

Critical kill

• "Flesh fireworks!"
• "Oh quit falling to pieces."
• "Is that what people look like inside?"
• "Ooh, squishy bits!"

Using VaultHunter.EXE

• "This time it'll be awesome, I promise!"
• "Hey everybody, check out my package!"
• "Defragmenting!"
• "Recompiling my combat code!"
• "Running the sequencer!"
• "It's happening... it's happening!"
• "It's about to get magical!"
• "What will he do next?"
• "Things are about to get awesome!"
• "Let's get this party started!"
• "Glitchy weirdness is term of endearment, right?"
• "I'm a sexy dinosaur! Rawr." (When activating Funzerker)
• "Oh god I can't stop!" (When activating Funzerker)
• (unintelligible snarling) (When activating Meat Unicycle)
• "It's the only way to stop the voices!" (When activating Meat Unicycle)
• "I am cloaking..." (When activating Shhhhhhhh...trap)
• "Roses are red/Violets are blue/Wait...how many syllables does that have?" (When activating Shhhhhhhh...trap)
• "Mini-trap, pretend you're a Siren!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "Aww, I shoulda drawn tattoos on it!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "Burn them, my mini-phoenix!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "Calm down!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "It's time to phase you suckers out!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "Tell me I'm the prettiest!" (When activating Blightbot)
• "To the sky, mini-trap!" (When activating Mechromagician)
• "Fly mini-trap! Fly!" (When activating Mechromagician)
• "I have two robot arms!" (When activating Mechromagician)
• "Punch 'em in the face, mini-trap!" (When activating Mechromagician)
• "Ratattattattatta! Powpowpowpow! Powpowpowpow! Pew-pew-pew!" (When activating Miniontrap)
• "Score one for the turret-trap!" (When activating Miniontrap)
• "I'm going commando!" (When activating Miniontrap)
• "Boiyoiyoiyoiyoing! (When activating Rubber Ducky)
• "For you...I commit...seppuku..." (When activating Senseless Sacrifice)
• "Some days, you just can't get rid of an obscure pop-culture reference." (When activating Clap-in-the-Box)
• "Can I use my magic missile"? (When activating Gun Wizard)
• "Do not look behind my curtain! (When activating Gun Wizard)
• "I'm made of magic!" (When activating Gun Wizard)
• "You can call me Gundalf!" (When activating Gun Wizard)
• "Kill! Reload! Kill! Reload! KILL! RELOAD!" (When activating One Shot Wonder)
• "Like those guys who made only one song ever." (When activating One Shot Wonder)
• "All these bullets in just one shot."(When activating One Shot Wonder) 
• "One shot, make it count!" (When activating One Shot Wonder)
• "Boogie time!" (When activating Laser Inferno) 
• "Lasers!" (When activating Laser Inferno) 
• "Psychedellic man!" (When activating Laser Inferno) 
• "Everybody, dance time! Da-da-da-dun-daaa-da-da-da-dun-daaa!" (When activating Laser Inferno)
• "One for you, one for you, and one for you!" (When activating Torgue Fiesta)
• "Avast ye scurvy dogs!" (When activating Pirate Ship Mode)
• "Is this really canon?" (When activating Pirate Ship Mode)
• "I feel a joke about poop decks coming on!" (When activating Pirate Ship Mode)

During VaultHunter.exe

• Claptrap: "Knock-knock." Summoned bot: "Who's there?" Claptrap: "Tat." Summoned bot: "Tat who?" Claptrap: "Not until you're older." (During Mechromagician, Blight Bot, and Miniontrap)
• Summoned bot: "Wubwubwub. Dubstep dubstep. Wubwubwubwub DROP!" (During Mechromagician)
• Summoned bot: "Knock Knock" Claptrap: "Who's there?" Summoned bot: "Wub" Claptrap: "Wub who?" Summoned bot: "Wubwubwubwubwub..." Claptrap: "You're dead to me." (During Blight Bot)
• Summoned bot: "Knock Knock" Claptrap: "Who's there?" Summoned bot: "Itch" Claptrap: "Itch who?" Summoned bot: "Bless you"
• Summoned bot: "Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em!
• Summoned bot: "Just point me in the right direction!"
• Summoned bot: "Have no fear, mini-trap is here!"
• Summoned bot: "So uh...great weather we're having."
• Summoned bot: "Uh, should I just wait, or uhh...?"

Being Crippled

• "I'll stop talking when I'm dead!" (Needs confirmation)
• "I'll die as I lived: annoying!" (Needs confirmation)
• "Come over here, I'll bite your legs off!"
• "I bet your mom could do better"

Being revived

Gaining Second Wind

• "Hahaha... I ascend!"
• "I LIVE!"
• "Good! I didnt want to be scrap metal anyway!" (Possible errors)

Reviving an ally

• "So, does this make me your favorite?"

Issuing a duel challenge

Teammate accepts duel challenge

Winning a duel

Losing a duel

Tying a duel

Finding rare loot

On leveling up

Crashing into vehicle

• "Did you scratch the paint?"

Swapping vehicle seats

Vehicle falls to low health

Ally-specific Quotes

• "Shield me, maiden!" (when Athena raises her Kinetic Aspis)
• "Go get them Athena!" (When Athena raises her Kinetic Aspis)
• "That is so hot!" (When Athena raises her Kinetic Aspis)
• "Nice shield baby" (When Athena raises her Kinetic Aspis)
• "Nice heals!" (when healed by Saint)

Completing a challenge

• "Oh my gosh, a challenge!"
• "I did a challenge? I did a challenge!"
• "Glad I didn't mess that up."
• "I did something right for once!"

Looking at menus

• "This, or that..."
• "So many choices!"
• "What's the difference?"
• "Perhaps I should try them out first."

Subroutines

• Pistols
  • "Shaken, not stirred"
  • "The moon is not enough!"
  • "My name is Trap, Claptrap, 00...Trap."
  • "I expect you to die!"
  • "I'd do anything for a woman with a gun."
• Shotguns
  • "In yo' FACE!"
  • "Get ready for some Claptrap face time!"
  • "Chk-chk, BOOM!"
  • "You're listening to 'Short-Range Damage Radio.'"
  • "Up-close and personal."
• Assault Rifles
  • "Get off my lawn."
  • "Back in my day..."
  • "At least I still have my teeth."
  • "Coffee? Black... like my soul."
  • "Crazy young wippersnappers..."
• Sniper Rifles
  • "Now you're sorted!"
  • "Snoiped!"
  • "Crack shot!"

• Melee
  • "This is why you do your homework!"
  • "Class is now in session" (Errors)
  • "Hee Yah!"
  • "Take That"

• Health
  • "Make my day."
  • "Gimme your best shot."
  • "Hit me, baby!"
  • "Feeling lucky, punk?"
• Shields
  • "Enterrrrr the CHAMPION!"
  • "Why do I feel radioactive!?"
  • "Armor soak increased!"
  • "Ladies looove a tough guy!"
  • "'(Quote missing) AND...' 'I'm here." (Errors)
  • "Insert Juggernaut quote or pun here."
• Elemental
  • Fire
  • Electric
    • "Dadadada. It's electric!"
  • Shock
    • "I'm rubbing my wheel on the carpet!"
  • Corrosive
    • "Wait, this isn't vegtable juice!"
  • Cryo
    • "What killed the baddies? The Ice age."

Applying Best Buds 4 Life

• "Looks like some of my awesome rubbed off!"

Activating Cryogenic Exhaust Manifold

• "Coolant, vented!"
• "Welcome to the Jam!"
• "Ah... Much better!"
• "Smells like Pina Coladas!"

Activating Hyperion Punch 

• "Hyperiooooon Punch!"
• "YES!"

Activating Float like a Bee

• "Gloves are coming off!"
• "One, two punch"
• "Sting like a butterfly!"

Activating Kick Him While He's Down

• "You look like something a skag barfed up!"
• "What's that smell? Oh wait, it's just you!" 
• "Your momma is so dumb, she couldn't think of a good ending to this 'yo momma' joke!"

Related to HIGH FIVES GUYS

• Activation
  • "Secret handshake!"
• Ally gives high five
• Enemy gives high five
  • "Still counts!"
  • "I'll take what I can get!"
• No high five received
  • (whistling)
  • "I feel like an idiot now."
  • "Single-player bonus!"
  • "I must look really stupid right now!"

Rainbow Coolant activates

• "I'm a Pandoracorn's butthole!"
• "I fart rainbows!"
• "Bask in my aura of death!"
• "Did you guys see that?!"

Idle

• "Can I shoot something now? Or climb some stairs? SOMETHING exciting?"
• "At times like this, I really start to question the meaning of my existence. Then I get distra-hey! What's this? This looks cool!"
• "It would really suck if I couldn't control what I was thinking. Like, who wants to know that I'm thinking about cheese and lint?" (Possible errors)
• "How does math work? Does this skin make me look fat? If a giraffe and a car had a baby, would it be called a caraffe? Life's big questions man." 
• "Who needs memories when I can do all this cool stuff? Stuff that I could be doing! That's what I'd like to call a 'hint'."
• "Does this mean I can start dancing? Pleeeeeeaaaaase?"

Unsorted

Trivia

• Claptrap's line "Come over here, I'll bite your legs off" is a reference to "Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail" in which the main character (King Arthur) amputates all of the Black Knight's limbs and the Black Knight uses that quote as a threat