Gaige/Quotes

Echo Log 01
Gaige: Hello to you, my faithful twelve subscribers - uhp, eleven. As you all know, the Eden-5 Youth Science Fair is only weeks away. Marcie Holloway's already got her dad's indentured laborers working on a miniature thermosonic energy reactor. Because evidently all the money in the galaxy can't buy you originality. Stupid rich bourgeoisie jerkbags. Marcie never had to work a day in her life to get where she is. ANARCHY FOREVER! SMASH THE SYSTEM!

Gaige's father: Gaige, honey. Keep it down? Mother's trying to sleep.

Gaige: Sure, dad! Whispers. Smash the system!

Gaige: Anyway, I've come up with a science project that will make Marcie's thermo reactor look like an interocitor. Laughs. I'm calling it the Mechanized Anti-Bully Deterrent Test, or Project DT. It's only in the prototype stages right now, but I have mathematically determined that it is going to be OFF THE CHAIN. Basically, the idea is that if you deploy a DT unit in a school environment, it's going to CLAMP DOWN on bullying by finding bullies and BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF 'EM.

Gaige's father: Gaige, sweetheart? Volume.

Gaige: Oh, sorry dad! It won't happen again!

Gaige's father: It's fine, dear. Love you.

Gaige: Whispers. It's totally gonna happen again. Gaige, out!

Echo Log 02
Gaige: Good news, my five subscribers. I've got the first prototype of the DT project up and running. Well, up and floating. I had to cut the legs off to reduce drag, but DT looks way more intimidating as a flying, legless torso of pure AWESOMENESS. Plus, I've equipped it with some big 'ol digistruct claws that destroyed ALL the target dummies I built in the back yard AND it accidentally got this stray cat that hopped in the line of fire, but that was her bad. So I'm making some serious progress, long story short. Ran into some hiccups, though - I mean, I haven't figured out a cool way to quickly digistruct DT into existence. I built a big spawning rod for it, but - it's just - you know, it's big, it's inelegant, it's ugly, it's a tube of metal, you've gotta it carry around, I can't figure out how to lift it.

Gaige's father: Hey, honey.

Gaige: Dad! I'm ECHOcasting!

Gaige's father: Oh, gosh, sorry. I just saw you working out here in the shed and thought you could use some hot cocoa.

Gaige: I don't need... cocoa, dad. I am a woman of science and ass-kickery, not children's beverages.

Gaige's father: Laughs. Whatever you say, sweetheart, I'll just leave it here.

Gaige's father leaves.

Gaige: Sips. Dammit, that's really good. Puts cup down. Oh, ogh, yeah, that reminds me - Marcie and I got paired up for a group project during Professor Parker's unipolitics class. We're supposed to debate whether the Hyperion occupation of Pandora was justified or not. I figured, rich little daddy's girl she is, she'd be all for it, but no - she never even HEARD of Pandora. She didn't know about Handsome Jack, about Eridium, about VAULTS, for gosh's sake - we're living in the most awesomely awesome time period in history, and Marcie's more interested in reading about celebrity gossip than the fact that Hyperion may have found another Vault. Oh, AND she somehow found out about my DT project and reported it to the school board, saying something about, I don't know, how a mobile laser-equipped robot might be dangerous, or something. Whatev. I hate her.

Echo Log 03
Gaige: Hello, subscribers!

Notification sound.

Gaige: Uh - hmm, both of you. Hmph. The science fair approaches, and I've got more updates. I just started work on the third revision of the DT project, and while I'm tinkering I slice my arm with some sheet metal - not a big cut, it barely goes like, halfway to the bone - and it occurs to me, I could just jet the wound with an Insta-Health and get back to circumventing the [unintelligible] chip with a [unintelligible] circuit reintegrator, OR I could kill two birds with one stone. See, I could never figure out a good method to quick-summon the DT, but as blood began to spurt from the gash in my forearm, I [unintelligible] realized it: a cybernetic limb! I could program all of DT's digistruct data into one robotic arm, and use that to summon DT at any time, any place! So I figure, what the heck, and I slice off the rest of my arm with a particle saw. And my dad's all like, "Uhh! Ohh! Uhh!" And blood's like, going everywhere. But a few hours and a few pints of blood later, I built a metal arm strong enough to smash concrete.

Sound of concrete being smashed.

Gaige: Ha ha ha! Yes! So metal! Oh, and I'm trying to do devil horns with my robot arm right now, but it's not really working because... fingers... Point is, Marcie and her stupid fusion reactor are not going to have -

Notification sound.

Gaige: - what the hell? Sorry, my newsfeed just picked up an article with Marcie's name on it. Yuellaghh. UHH. "Local student Marcie Halloway has made a technological breakthrough which will change the face of law enforcement forever." No, I don't think so. "Her new invention, which she calls the Crime Buster Bot" - wait, WHAT? Uh, hello, that is MY design. HOH, Marcie ripped off my science fair project idea! Okay, no. "Crime Buster Bot will use digistructing claws, thermosonic lasers, and quantum [unintelligible] to help law enforcement agencies to subdue dangerous criminals"?! Marcie, what the hell?! She completely ripped off my DT design, but instead of using it to stop bullying, she's giving it to the galaxy's most corrupt police force! Marcie! You are such a - smashes something DAARGH - complete tool! And the name - that name sucks! "Crime Buster Bot"? Bitch, are you kidding me?

Gaige's father: What's going on in here? I can hear you from across the house.

Gaige: Dad, now's not a good time!

Gaige's father: Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, why don't you -

Gaige: Marcie Halloway ripped off my robot's design, used them to build fascist security bots for the cops, and now she's going to try to win the science fair with MY IDEA!

Gaige's father: Oh. You're going to take that bitch down, right?

Gaige: You're damn right! I'm going to upgrade my bot, and I'm going to win the heck out of that science fair! It is SO ON!

Gaige's father: That's the spirit! You put your mind toward your little DT project, Marcie won't stand a chance.

Gaige: Don't call him DT any more, dad. His name...

Deathtrap powers up.

Gaige: ...is Deathtrap.