The Ice Man Cometh/Transcript

Claptrap: The Crimson Raiders need our help! Roland's been having trouble with some Bloodshots in Three Horns. He just wants them dead, but I've got a MUCH better plan -- we'll freeze 'em out! Get out to the bandit camp and destroy their furnaces. Without heat, they'll be too cold to fight anybody! Here -- take this blastomite and put it on their furnaces.

(Vault Hunter picks up the explosives and heads over to the bandit camp where he rigs the first furnace with explosives.)

Claptrap: Great, you placed the dynamite! Now move onto the next furnace!

(Vault Hunter rigs the second furnace with explosives.)

Claptrap: Vive la résistance! Once you've destroyed all the furnaces, those bandits will be WAY too cold to fight -- they'll CHILL OUT! Hahahahahah! CHILL OUT! You get it? Eh, went right over your head, didn't it?

(Vault Hunter rigs the third furnace with explosives.)

Claptrap: See, it's funny because chill is a saying that means calm down, but also means cold. It's a single word with multiple meanings. That is mathematically HILARIOUS!

(Vault Hunter rigs the fourth furnace with explosives.)

Claptrap: Since I still don't hear you laughing about chill out, you must not understand humor in general. See, humor is based on subverting expectations, often through play-on words. According to this formula of humor, my chill out comment was literally the funniest thing ever said by anyone!

(Vault Hunter rigs the last furnace with explosives.)

Claptrap: Okay -- you've got dynamite on all the furnaces, which means it's time to set it all off! Go use the remote detonator I had one of the Crimson Raiders set up out there. When he asked me why, I just told him: BE COOL.

Claptrap: HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING RIGHT NOW?! That was f***ing GOLD!

Claptrap: Just hit that detonator to destroy the furnaces and freeze those bandits into peacefulness!

(Vault Hunter hits the detonator.)

Claptrap: Hey, bandits -- FREEZE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

(Explosives go off destroying the furnaces.)

Claptrap: Good job -- with their furnaces gone, the bandits will be WAY too cold to kill anybody!

Bandit: Who turned off our furnaces?! KILL 'EM!

Claptrap: Ah, crap.

Claptrap: Watch out, minion -- they're wearing SNOW HATS! Smack 'em down, quick!

(Snow Bandits show up and get killed by Vault Hunter.)

Claptrap: So, instead of dropping all their weapons and running to hide from the cold, the bandits put on winter hats. Heck, I still call that a win! Come on back.

(Vault Hunter goes back to Happy Pig Motel bounty board and turns in the mission.)

Claptrap: I still can't believe you didn't get my chill out joke.