Digistructed Madness: Round 1/Transcript

(Enter The Holodome map for the first time)

Axton: Helloooo, Sanctuary! Guess who's back from hunting Vaults on other planets? Did ya miss us?

Gaige: Pshhht, and I'M the nerd? I mean, what's the deal here, you guys? First Lilith is like, "Hunt the Vault on Eptah", and then she's like, "Don't kill the other Vault Hunters, bring back the one chick you found, WAR IS COMING.". Tch.

Tiny Tina: Ooooooh, you brought back a new Vault Hunting buddy?! I wanna meet her.

Axton: No, you don't. Aurelia is the meanest. What's all this about Athena and some Guardian and war?

Athena: Umm, I'm Athena. I was relating to present company the story of how Jack rose to power.

(Accept mission)

H010-TP: Helloooo, visitors! Welcome to the Holodome, a holographic projector dimension! My name is H0101-TP, but you can call me Holotrap, and I will be your digistructable guide through the simulation! Suivez-moi! That means "follow me"!

Gaige: Aww. We missed how Jack made the loaders?! Athena, tell it again.

Athena: I've already told it twice, I'm not--

Gaige: Pleeeaaase? Deathtrap REALLY wants to hear it! They are HIS ancestors, you know.

Deathtrap: (noise halfway between purr and growl)

Athena: ... Alright. We had just gotten to the Helios Space Station to find it under attack--

Axton: Wait. Is this going to be a LONG story?

Gaige: Yeah, just give us the Bluff's Notes.

Athena: The what?

Gaige: You know, the short important parts of those really long, obnoxious novels you read in school?

Axton: Yeah, the parts where you shot people! Killed stuff!

Gaige: And made robots!

Axton: And blew up Jack's favorite toy!

Athena: Fine.

(Before pressing button) (note: these play randomly)

H010-TP: That button is on loan from the Torgue Corporation -- it may or may not explode when used!

H010-TP: You'll need to start the simulation from inside the arena. There's a holo-button -- you need to do to it what you usually do to buttons.

H010-TP: There's a holo-button that starts the round, and there is an invisible button that produces pastries! You'll have to figure out which one is which. But I bet you want the glowing one!

H010-TP: Don't ask what happened the LAST time someone pushed that button -- it was messy! But you'll be fine. Probably.

H010-TP: I dare go no further! Inside, you will find a spectacularly holographic device, which you must push to begin your fantastically holographic simulation! Godspud, Vault Hunter.

(Press button)

Axton: Oh, cool. Jump pads!

Athena: Deadlift was obsessed with jump pads. The only way we could beat him was to join him.

H010-TP: Yeahhh, jump pads just kinda came with the whole holodome package.

(Survived all waves)

H010-TP: Good job! Return to me and I'll have the next simulation primed and ready!

(Turn in)

H010-TP: D'you like my new chassis? I designed it myself!