A Real Boy: Clothes Make the Man/Transcript

(Vault Hunter enters the Human Dwelling Place and meets Mal.)

Mal: Hi! I don't want to kill you, which is kind of weird! I need your help! Oh -- I should have a name. Humans have names! I bet I'm malfunctioning like the dickens, so... how about Mal?

(Vault Hunter accepts the mission.)

Mal: Hi! I'm a robot, and I don't like that! Could you help me become human? Maybe? I don't wear clothes, but I see humans wearing lots of clothes -- could you get me clothes from those bandit guys nearby? I'll wear so many clothes, I'll be the best human ever!

(Mission objectives update: Find shirt, Find pants, Find hat)

(As the Vault hunter leaves the camp ...)

Mal: I can't wait to get a mortgage!

Mal: When I'm human, I can finally stop being so good at math! Nothing is more boring than being able to multiply 8281 by 93333,2 to get (incomplete)

(Vault Hunter kills bandits, "clothes" falling on the ground ...)

Mal: Ooh! That piece of armor will make a great hat, or shirt, or pair of pants for me! Even though it's just a little piece of armor, I will treat it like pants! If this seems illogical, good! Humans are often illogical!

(Vault Hunter picks up the hat ...)

Mal: Ooh, swanky!

(Vault Hunter picks up the shirt ...) Mal: That looks great!

(Vault Hunter picks up the pants ...) Mal: Yay, clothes!

Mal: Great! You got clothes! Thanks for getting all those clothes! Bring the clothes back to me, Mal, and I'll wear the clothes!

(Mission objectives update: Give clothes to Mal)

(Vault Hunter gives clothes to Mal ...)

(Mission objectives update: TURN IN!)

Mal: Thanks! I am now wearing the clothes. I think I look great! Ooh -- vanity! That's very human! So... why don't I feel human yet? Hmmm.