Mr. Torgue/Quotes

Borderlands 2

 * "DID YOU KNOW THAT NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT OF ALL LIVING THINGS ON PANDORA AREN'T EXPLODING RIGHT NOW? THAT'S BULLSH*T, BUY TORGUE!"
 * "The following message from Mister Torgue does not reflect the opinions of the Torgue corporation itself. 'IF YOU DON'T BUY TORGUE GUNS YOU'RE RETARDED!' The previous message from Mister Torgue did not reflect the opinions of Torgue corporation itself."

Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage

 * "--BOOOOOOOOORING! You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT! AND PECS! AND EXPLOSIONS! I'm Torgue, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!"
 * "We here at the Torgue Corporation sincerely think that this is F*CKING AWESOME!!"
 * "THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!"
 * "Before you can enter the tournament, you must digitally sign our legal waiver."
 * "Just kidding! F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker!"
 * "Right now, you're ranked fifty in the badass leaderboards, which puts you behind my grandma but ahead of a guy she gummed to death. IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS."
 * "Also, you need a sponsor for MOTHAF*CKIN' LEGAL REASONS!"
 * "You may have noticed that everyone here is trying to kill you, Torgue personnel included. YOU'RE WELCOME. I didn't want you to get bored so I was like, F*ck it, give everybody guns! We lost like half our workforce in three days, but who gives a F*CK!?"
 * "I probably shoulda set you up with a sponsor beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors. You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?" Answer: YES."
 * "IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU!?"
 * "Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our next combatant has arrived! Does the Vault Hunter have what it takes to survive the Appetite for Destruction round? I think we all know the answer: MAAAAAAAYBEEEE!"
 * "Also, you should treat Moxxi nice! NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!"
 * "If you're still alive, grab some ammo. If you're not, THIS MESSAGE IS IRRELEVANT!"
 * "The Vault Hunter is going through bandits faster than a fat kid in a cookie store! NOW I WANT COOKIES!"
 * "KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR CRAZY LANGUAGE AM I RIGHT!?"
 * "IT'S TIME FOR A LOOOOOT-SPLOSION!"
 * "THIS IS MISTER TORGUE SAYING THAT I AM REALLY HUNGRY. SOMEBODY BRING ME A SANDWICH! ... END OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT."
 * "This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!"
 * "A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME. THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!"
 * "BIG DEAL. I CAN USE INNUENDO TOO. TONIGHT'S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER...BLOWJOBS!"
 * "BY REGISTERING IN THE BADASS TOURNAMENT, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE, KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T."

Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep

 * New missions available
 * "I GOT A QUEST!"
 * "NEWWWWW QUESSSST!"
 * "GET PUMPED!"


 * During an active mission
 * "YOU DOIN' AWESOME WITH THAT QUEST? I BET YOU ARE!"
 * "THIS POSITION'S REALLY GOOD FOR THE GLUTES!"
 * "MY BACK MUSCLES ARE SO RIPPED, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"


 * No new missions
 * "WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN A WHILE! I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING NOT TO GET KICKED OUTTA MY OWN COMPANY BY MY DOUCHEBAG SHAREHOLDERS! HOW'S STUFF ON YOUR END?"
 * "YOU'RE TALKING TO THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN COMBAT ENTERTAINMENT!"
 * "MY CHEST IS HUGE!"


 * While idle
 * "I JUST REALIZED THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE MET IN PERSON! YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE!"
 * "READING, AM I RIGHT?"
 * "THIS POSITION IS REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE!"


 * Unrelated mumblings
 * "RELEASE ME! I'M INNOCENT! JUST KIDDING, I LIKE PLAYING THE PART OF AN ANGRY PRISONER!"
 * "FANTASY STUFF! YEAH!"
 * "EXPLOSIONS OF BOREDOM!"
 * "MY NOSE ITCHES! THIS IS AGONY!"
 * "I'M HUNGRY!"

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

 * "The following message from Mister Torgue does not reflect the opinions of the Torgue corporation itself."
 * "BUY TORGUE GUNS! THEY MAKE **** EXPLODE! WHAT MORE DO YOU ****ING WANT? OR ARE YOU TOO MUCH OF A ****ING ***HOLE TO HANDLE A TORGUE?! TOOOORGUE!"
 * "The Torgue corporation appreciates your business."