BFFs/Transcript

(In front of Sccooter's garage, Vault Hunter finds 4 individuals pointing guns at and accusing one other.)

O'Cantler: This is dumb.

Jim Kepler: Says the bastard that probably stole it in the first place!

Lindy Archman: Gee, Jim -- you're awfully quick to start pointing fingers!

Sam Matthews: Come on, guys, we're friends! Let's calm down!

O'Cantler: This is so dumb.

(Vault Hunter accepts the mission.)

Sam Matthews: Uh, Vault Hunter? Little help? Look, it's a long story...

Jim Kepler: No, it's a short story!

O'Cantler: I write short stories.

Jim Kepler: We were supposed to divide the take four ways, but somebody up and nicked it before we could split it up!

Marshall Friedman: Those idiots still screamin' at each other? Marshall Friedman, here -- if you wanna do me a solid and shut those morons up so I can get back to my nap, know that only one of 'em will tell ya the truth. The other three are liars. If you could figure out which one of 'em robbed the others and pop 'em in the head for me, that'd be awesome.

(Mission objectives update: Shoot thief, Optional: Question Lindy, Question Sam, Question Jim, Question O'Cantler)

(Vault Hunter questions one at a time ...)

Lindy Archman: Sam stole the cash. Without question. After she and O'Cantler were done... celebrating our successful heist, I saw her stuff the loot down her pants.

Sam Matthews: Look, between you and me? O'Cantler's the thief. When we were making out, he was all, Yeah, baby, I'm gonna steal all that money! and I was like No, don't do that! and he's like Oh yeah baby, I'm gonna! and I was like That's so wrong.

Jim Kepler: Look, given what we know about human consciousness, I can be certain of only one thing: I didn't steal the money. I know my own mind, and I know my mind didn't steal it. If I knew everyone else's minds I might be able to help you a bit more, but, sadly, I can only speak for myself. And I'm doing that now. Speaking, to say that I didn't steal the money.

O'Cantler: Sam's full of crap.

(If Vault Hunter shoots anyone but the actual thief ...)

Sam Matthews: Ow! It wasn't ME!

Lindy Archman: What the hell?!

O'Cantler: Ouch, mate!

Jim Kepler: They weren't the thief! They didn't have any money on them! SCREW IT!

(They start shooting at each other and eventually all get killed.)

(Vault Hunter shoots Jim Kepler, cash dropping raining down from Jim's backpack.)

(Mission objectives update: TURN IN!)

Lindy Archman: Hunh -- guess Jim did steal the cash.

Sam Matthews: But we were friends! That's sad. But maybe we... maybe we learned something.

O'Cantler: Yeah. We learned that Jim stole the cash.

(Vault Hunter turns in the mission to Sam Matthews.)