Space Cowboy/Transcript

Accepting the mission
Moxxi: "Hey, sugar. I've got something important for you."

Misison
Moxxi: "In case you didn't know, my son, Scooter, he... well, he died recently. He went out the way I always saw him: as a hero."

Moxxi: "I've said my own goodbyes, but before we rushed off Sanctuary, I found an ECHO in Scooter's things. Says it's for you, Vault Hunter."


 * (Picking up Scooter's ECHO)

Scooter: "Hey, Vault Hunter! In the highly likely event that I got deadened by like, a dinosaur, or a big explosion or somethin', I heres-to-by name you the Executioner of my last william best-ament."

Moxxi: "Oh, my sweet, dumb boy."

Scooter: "Okay! First off, collect all my best girly mags for posterior-ity!"

Scooter: "Once you done got all them skin rags, you make sure and find 'em a good home, 'kay?"


 * (Collecting the Chestworld)

Scooter: "Chestworld was definitely one of my favorite strainin' manuals. I mean, shoot, I never did meet a bustier I didn't like. Momma taught me that word, mmmm hm mm."

Moxxi: "Mordecai, honey, Scooter asked us to find a home for his, uh... wagmags. You interested?"

Mordecai: "Oh, wow, uh... that's... I really couldn't accept such a... generous offer."


 * (Collecting the Racks & Rakks)

Scooter: "Racks & Rakks is THE premiere quarterly for those interested in hot babes holdin' onta scary birds! Kind of a particular demographic, but I ain't here to yuck anybody's yum, know what I'm sayin'?"

Moxxi: "Brick? Scooter wanted us to find someone to take his porn stash. Any interest?"

Brick: "Hell nah, I ain't tryna see that."


 * (Collecting the Siren's Call)

Scooter: "I know Siren's Call ain't got real pic-a-tures of real Sirens but uh, that ol' fap fiction still gots the job done! Haaaa!"

Moxxi: "(sigh) Hey, Vaughn? Any chance you're looking for some lightly-used girlie mags?"

Vaughn: "Aw, gee. Gosh, that's a real nice offer, but um... Uh, no? Bandit liiiiife!"

Moxxi: "Well. Waste not, I guess. Just bring 'em back to me, and I'll hold on to them for now."

Scooter: "Now this time, I'ma predict that y'all took a quick boomer break in the dookie hut. Like right now. Right when you're listenin to this. Enjoy that dook, y'all!"


 * (Delivering nudie magazines)

Scooter: "For my next predict-she-ow-nay, I bet everyone got into a freakin' free-for-all riot to get their mitts on those primo tissue issues. Extrasensory futuresight, y'all! WOOOO!"

Moxxi: "Okay. That was all extremely uncomfortable. But now that it's over, let's see what else he wants."

Scooter: "For my next last wishes, I officially transfer ownership of the most sweetest-ass business on Pandora, to my most favoritest sister. I'm talkin' about Ellie."

Moxxi: "Oh, Scooter."


 * (Talking to Ellie)

Ellie: "Well, hey there, cutie pie! What's this all about?"

Moxxi: "Ellie, Scooter wants you to run the Catch-a-Ride."

Ellie: "Aw, dang. I knew this day was comin'. It was nice just hearin' his voice comin' out of those janky-ass speakers, but... I'll do it."

Scooter: "Ellie, if you're listenin' to this, it means I've become a super-ghost on that big racetrack in the sky, drivin' ghost cars round the sun an' shit. Sorry, sis. I'm sure you're real sad and all, but you gots ta keep them runners runnin' for me, okay?"

Ellie: "Bye bye, Scoot. And... thank you. Wellp, guess we'd better record some new lines for the Catch-a-Ride, huh?"


 * (Approaching Catch-A-Ride Station)

Ellie: "This is where the cars live! Get you one! Hm. It don't feel right aping his catch-phrases like that. Tell you what, gimme some time and I'll come up with some new ones."


 * (Transfering Catch-A-Ride ownership)

Ellie: "Alright! Looks like the transfer is complete. Why don'tcha give it a whirl?"

Ellie: "Get you a Big Beautiful War Machine right here, y'all! Catch-a-Riiiiide!"


 * (Digistructing a vehicle)

Moxxi: "Thanks, Vault Hunter. Let's see what else Scooter wanted you to do."

Scooter: "And finally, whence-fifth I depart from this mortal plane, do me the honor of reverently laying down a totally righteous memorial in my name, then do A SICK-ASS BOOSTER JUMP OVER THAT THANG! WOOO!"

Ellie: "I've actually been workin' on a li'l something at his final-resting-place-slash-impact-crater. Why don'tcha meet me on out there and see what I whipped up?"


 * (Visiting Scooter's Memorial)

Scooter: "Now I'm sure you done gone and passed out from dehydration on account of cryin' over me, but don't you worry. I lived my life exactly the way I wanted to, even when-- no, ESPECIALLY when folks told me not to! Rules is for FOOLS! I made that up just now, I'm a genius! Death ain't holding back my brilliant mind!"

Ellie: "Yeah, I know. It's pretty awesome. But I think it needs just one final touch, don't you? I couldn't decide between righteous flames of furious fury, or sick-ass danger-arcs of electric badassery. Do whatever you think is right, Vault Hunter."


 * (Lighting up or electrifying the memorial)

Ellie: "Maaannn, that's lookin' sweet! Now it's time to christen this bad boy! Go ahead and show me one of them Outrunner boost jumps over this thing! Let's get this freakin' party started!"


 * (Doing a sick-ass booster jump)

Scooter: "Catch-a-riiiiiiiiiiide!"

End of mission
Ellie: "Hooo-leee crapsicles! That was amazing! Scooter would be so happy if he coulda seen that righteous badassery! You did right by him. Thanks, V-H."

Moxxi: "I know Scooter wasn't exactly everyone's cup of tea, but he was a good man. And that's one hell of a rare thing on Pandora. It would have meant a lot to Scooter that you did all this. It did to me. Thank you, Vault Hunter."

Scooter: "And for my finalest of final words. I just wanna say... thanks. I always wanted to be a Vault Hunter, but never really had the stuff for it. Y'all gave me a cause worth fightin' for, an' made me feel like family. And since we all family now, y'all gotta look out for my best girls, Ellie and Moxxi, 'kay? And as for me? I gotta catch me a ride to heaven, y'all."