System Shutdown/Transcript

Handsome Jack: Thanks, phew! I needed that back! You really had me on the ropes there -- but you're still trusting your eyes, huh?

5H4D0W-TP: How many times must I tell you? I can project the forms of others. No matter -- this unit's consciousness will thank me for not letting Jack get his hands on it.


 * Athena (if present): You're not Jack... I'm still in Claptrap!
 * Wilhelm (if present): You're not Jack! I'm still in Claptrap!
 * Nisha (if present): You're not Jack! I'm still in Claptrap!
 * Claptrap (if present): You're not Jack! I'm still inside me!
 * Jack2 (if present): You're not Jack! I'm still in Claptrap!
 * Aurelia (if present): Uhp -- YOU'RE not Jack! I'm still in Claptrap!

5H4D0W-TP: Thanks for returning the H-Source, IDIOT! Now, I'll use it to KILL YOU!

(Move through corridor)

(Cutscene)

(5H4D0W-TP sits on a throne, statues of Claptraps holding war scythes flank the room.)

5H4D0W-TP: Come! Embrace your oblivion! I've already learned YOU CAN'T KILL ME!

(Claptrap's Consciousness appears)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Finally! I knew I'd find you!

5H4D0W-TP: I summoned you.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Oh.

5H4D0W-TP: Now is our time, my brother! INTEGRATE WITH ME! We shall splice ourselves with the H-Source, and together we shall burn a flaming path of glorious destruction across a universe that will tremble at the name "Claptrap"!

Claptrap's Consciousness: That does sound pretty cool!

5H4D0W-TP: We shall suck the air from Helios, and destroy our enemies. Your false friends who mock you at every turn, and plot your destruction -- they all shall die. A simple high-five will seal the deal!

Claptrap's Consciousness: ALL those guys die?

5H4D0W-TP: I promise -- they ALL will die.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Oh.

(Claptrap's Consciousness approaches 5H4D0W-TP, poised for high-five)

5H4D0W-TP: Yesss.

(Claptrap's Consciousness pulls away at the last moment.)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Psyche!

5H4D0W-TP: But... why not betray these assholes?! They exhibit no kindness for you! They would sell you out in a MILLI-CYCLE!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Because... they're my friends.

5H4D0W-TP: Then you die, regardless of what happens next. Shame.

(The platform the throne rests upon rises.)

5H4D0W-TP: Vault Hunter! This time, I'll tap into the power of the H-Source!

(Title Card: 5H4D0W-TP -- NOW WITH 100% MORE H-SOURCE!)


 * Athena (if present): Yeah, fought you before.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Uh, so?
 * Nisha (if present): Like I care!
 * Claptrap (if present): Suits me.
 * Jack2 (if present): Whatevs, pal.
 * Aurelia (if present): I've already defeated you, darling!

(5H4D0W-TP inserts the H-Source into his chest. A humongous powersuit constructs itself around him.)


 * Athena (if present): Ohhhhhhhhhh, s**t.
 * Wilhelm (if present): F********k.
 * Nisha (if present): Heh. S**T.
 * Claptrap (if present): Expletive!
 * Jack2 (if present): Awww, hoho, seriously?!
 * Aurelia (if present): Ohhhh, bollocks.

(End Cutscene)

(Defeat ECLIPSE)

5H4D0W-TP: Re-engaging H-Source!

(Defeat EOS)

Handsome Jack: Hello? Hello-uh?! Oh, FINALLY! That jackass has been blocking my signal ever since you jumped into that Sub... Sub-Subconscious, wherever... Just grab the H-Source and let's get you the hell outta digital dodge. To be clear -- the main thing here is the H-Source!

(Pick up H-Source)

5H4D0W-TP: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (spits out loot)

5H4D0W-TP: (very long raspberry)


 * Athena (if present): What?! No legendary?
 * Wilhelm (if present): Where's my damn legendary?
 * Nisha (if present): Where's the legendary?
 * Claptrap (if present): Aww! I thought he'd drop a legendary!
 * Jack2 (if present): Where's the legendary?! Asshole!
 * Aurelia (if present): Damn. Thought he'd drop a... "phat legendary", as they say.

5H4D0W-TP: (long raspberry) (spits out legendary item)

Handsome Jack: Hey! You got the H-Source, awesome! Get back to me at the lab. This is gonna be so cool!

Claptrap's Consciousness: That was an awesome fight! Yeah, we showed him!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Oo, look at all the cool loot! Pick this one up! No, pick this one up!

Claptrap's Consciousness: You and me really get on, don't we?

Claptrap's Consciousness: Hey, you want to go to that beach now?

Claptrap's Consciousness: Where you going? Can I come?

Claptrap's Consciousness: Hey, you wanna stay for dinner? I mean, I don't really eat but... I could watch you eat!

Claptrap's Consciousness: We just totally bonded, didn't we?

Claptrap's Consciousness: Maybe I'll just follow you around forever.

(Return to Deck 13 1/2)

Handsome Jack: There you go -- that wasn't so hard, was it? Touch that panel on the console, it'll extract the H-Source from you. You'll wanna cross your legs or something -- this is definitely gonna hurt.

(Use console)


 * Athena (if present): Ahhh!
 * Wilhelm (if present): Ahhh!
 * Nisha (if present): Ahhh!
 * Claptrap (if present): Oooohhhh -- that feels soooooo goooood!
 * Jack2 (if present): Rrrnnnnnngggghhhhh-OWWWWW! RNGRNGNGGGNGAH-AH -- OWW!
 * Aurelia (if present): Ahhh!

Handsome Jack: Jack-goddamn-pot! Consider me, as your gainful employer, very, very happy.


 * Athena (if present): Peachy. Consider it my going-away present.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Just pay me. Then I'll be very, very happy too.
 * Nisha (if present): You ain't seen nothing yet, lover-boy.
 * Claptrap (if present): You don't know how long I've waited to hear ou say that!
 * Jack2 (if present): Hey, it's what you pay me for, right? You know what I'm saying? Pay me?
 * Aurelia (if present): Darling, I had quite the ride!

Handsome Jack: You've given me the keys to the Hyperion kingdom -- Tassiter's ultra secret designs, latest intel, and... The porgram codes to eliminate any product line I goddamn choose... like, say, those pain-in-the-ass, bumbling, screw-up claptrap units.


 * Athena (if present): You're not... serious?
 * Wilhelm (if present): Kinda badass.
 * Nisha (if present): Robot genocide! Ugh, sweetie, you shouldn't have!
 * Claptrap (if present): But, but I... I-I saved you all!
 * Jack2 (if present): Whoa. Just when I think you can't get any darker, and then, uh, boom.
 * Aurelia (if present): I'm no stranger to sacking the help, but Jack -- this feels -- extreme.

(Cutscene)

(Handsome Jack stands at the console, surrounded by Athena, Wilhelm, Nisha, and Claptrap.)

Handsome Jack: It's SO good to be the king, baby!

(Jack hits the button and one by one, all claptrap robots the Vault Hunters encountered during their jaunt on Elpis and Helios throw sparks and fall over, dead.)

(In Jack's office, Handsome Jack points his wrist cannon at Claptrap and shoots him. Jack laughs, Nisha and Wilhelm high-five each other, and Athena leaves, disgusted.)

(Dozens of dead claptraps are dumped in a waste pile in Windshear Waste. The camera zooms into Claptrap's eye into the digital world. 5H4D0W-TP rises in a world of blackness, then explodes in a burst of blue light. Claptrap's eye starts blinking again.)

(Sepia comic-art drawing of the original Vault Hunters, Claptrap, and Athena sitting on the steps of Sanctuary. In TVHM, the drawing includes Pickle and Tiny Tina.)

(Normal Mode)

Claptrap: And that's how I ended up...

Athena: No, that didn't happen until later!

Claptrap: And that's how I ended up on that snowy tundra -- alone, betrayed, unloved!

Athena: That happened later... but I never knew Jack wanted to end your whole line.

Claptrap: I forgive you.

Lilith: I've been some crazy places on Pandora, but nowhere THAT messed up.

Brick and Mordecai: Me either.

Claptrap: Jinx!

Lilith: Awkward. Athena... I really do apologize about that.

Athena: Ordering my execution?

Lilith: Yeah. It's just... I don't know if we're going to make it through what's coming.

Athena: Jack's dead, Lilith.

Lilith: You think he's the only monster out there?

(End Normal Mode)

(True Vault Hunter Mode)

Claptrap: And THAT'S my awesome origin story!

Brick: Uhhh -- isn't that just for superheroes and stuff?

Pickle: And didn't you sort of completely lose your powers at the end?

Tiny Tina: He right! It's a de-origin-story!

Claptrap: Oh, sure, you can look at it that way. But through it all, I learned something. I learned that no matter what this brutally heartless and desperately meaningless universe throws at us, our spirits can never REALLY be broken when we walk hand in hand, wrapped in the companionship of others! I guess, what I'm saying is, we're a team -- and I love you guys.

All: SHUT UP, CLAPTRAP!

Claptrap: See? A team!

Mordecai: No, seriously. Shut up.

(End True Vault Hunter Mode)

(Credits roll)

(In Windshear Waste, bullymongs scavenge the dead claptraps. Sniper shots are heard, scattering the beasts. Alistair Hammerlock approaches the pile and looks at Claptrap.)

Sir Hammerlock: Got ourselves a bit of a fighter, eh?

(Hammerlock kneels beside Claptrap and starts to repair him.)

(End Cutscene)