My Brittle Pony/Transcript

Accepting the mission
Vaughn: "When New Pandora kicked us out of Helios, we lost track of Butt Stallion. So I'm hiring you -- and the most elite team of professionals money can buy -- to make sure she's okay."

Mission
Vaughn: "When me and the Hellions posted up in Helios, we kinda adopted Butt Stallion as our unofficial mascot. Even though she was still stuck in that depressive stasis she's been in since Jack died, we took care of her the best we could." Vaughn: "Hector's people took her away as soon as they showed up! They must be planning to sell her. I mean, she's worth her weight in diamonds because she's... y'know, literally made of diamonds, bro."


 * (Meet the team)

Brick: "Tina! Sit your little ass down. Mordecai's just tryin' to keep you safe." Mordecai: "Yeah, it's gonna be dangerous in there." Tiny Tina: "Shut up! You're not my real mom! 'Sides. Tina good. Tina can handle her own self just dandy-fine. Now I bid you SAYOUNARA!" Mordecai: "Tina! Wait! Stay with Brick!" Brick: "Hey, Slab. That coulda gone better. We're still sorta workin out the kinks, y'know. Yeah. Anyway. LET'S GO SAVE THAT MAJESTIC BEAUTIFUL BUTT STALLION! HELL YEAH!" Mordecai: "Vault Hunter, please make sure Tina stays safe, okay?"


 * (Find Butt Stallion)

Mordecai: "Hey, Tina?" Tiny Tina: "Whatchu want, homie? I'm busy tracking down the most prettiest creature to ever grace Pandora!" Mordecai: "I asked the Vault Hunter to keep an eye on you, okay?" Tiny Tina: "(groan) I'm FINE! Leave me alone!" Mordecai: "(sigh) Yo, Vault Hunter. Go check in with Brick, I guess." Brick: "Glad you're here, slab! There's enough punchin' to go around! Let's see if Butt Stallion's nearby. Been working on my horse calls, but so far no luck. Neigh! Butt Stallion! NEIGH! Damn horse." Tiny Tina: "Oh my god, oh my god, ohhh emm geee! Guys-guys-guys! I found her! And she's even more majestical and beautiful and -- it's BUTT STALLION! Come on, come on, come on! Get here!" Mordecai: "Good work, Tina! Now stay put until Brick and the Vault Hunter get there." Tiny Tina: "Stay put until the myeah myeah myeah!" Tiny Tina: "Boom-shaka-laka!" Brick: "You heard the lady! Let's move!" Tiny Tina: "Yes! Brick-poppa and Vault Hunter! Let's save our best GIRL!" Tiny Tina: "Never leave home without a bomb, tomodachi. Now STAND BACK! Then shoot the bomb. It's a-go boomity-boom." Tiny Tina: "Yes, yes, YES! BUTT STALLION! YOUR MAGNIFICENT MAJESTY!" Hyperion Security: "Butt Stallion proximity sensor violation. Commencing Silver Steed Defense Protocol."


 * (Protect Tina and Butt Stallion)

Tiny Tina: "Cover me! Through the power of love, I shall reawaken the beast! Just call me The Butt Whisperer!" Brick: "Let's give her some cover!" Tiny Tina: "Yaaas, queen! I knew you'd come around."


 * (Talk to Tina)

Tiny Tina: "Isn't she just the most beautifulest thing you ever saw?! I just want to squeeze her so hard she BLOWS UP!" Tiny Tina: "No-no-no-no-no, sweetie girl. Not for realsies. You good! You real, real good. Yes you is."

End of mission
Brick: "Good work, slab!" Mordecai: "I'm glad we could help." Tiny Tina: "SHUT UP, MORDI-MOM!" Mordecai: "Tina, what the hell?!" Brick: "Hey! Don't talk to your mother like that." Mordecai: "You're not helping!" Tiny Tina: "That's it! Everyone get out of my room!" Mordecai: "That ISN'T your room!" Tiny Tina: "I said OUT!" Mordecai: "Vale. Vale. Tranquilo por favor. Jeez! You heard her, Vault Hunter." Vaughn: "Woo! You guys did great! Now, I know Lilith leads, like... the A-Team Crimson Raiders, or whatever, but... you guys made a great... B-Team?" Tiny Tina: "YES! The B is for bootylicious. (giggle)" Vaughn: "Whatever! Anyway, thanks for saving Butt Stallion! I've got a real soft spot for the old girl, y'know? But... I'm real busy with bandit stuff and, you know, saving the world, so... Tina, could you take care of her for me?" Tiny Tina: "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you!" Vaughn: "Well, that's settled, I guess! Thanks again, Vault Hunter."