Home Delivery/Transcript

(to do: missing Wilhelm quote)

(Accept mission)

Sir Hammerlock: Hello? Is this thing on? Oh, yes, I see the light there. Ahem. I am Sir Hammerlock, a zoologist on Pandora. There are some fascinating creatures on the moon, but one in particular strikes my fancy. Since I'm not much for interplanetary travel, could you acquire a couple of specimens and mail them to me?

Sir Hammerlock: Now, I might mention that exporting lunar wildlife is highly illegal and more importantly, frowned upon by polite society. You may have to smuggle the creatures off the moon -- hope that isn't too much of a problem.


 * Athena (if present): It is none of my business.
 * Wilhelm (if present): (missing)
 * Nisha (if present): You think SMUGGLING is a serious crime? That's cute.
 * Claptrap (if present): It's like we're rescuing them from a desperate life of fighting for their survival among bandits and thieves!
 * Jack2 (if present): Uhhh, lemme think... no. No problem.
 * Aurelia (if present): Oh, bloody hell, it's Alistair. "Sure, hoss! No problem! This definitely ain't yer sister pretending to be somebody else to avoid getting into another argument with ya!"

Sir Hammerlock: Very well then! The creatures I have in mind are called "moon threshers". Never been heard of or seen before... breed like wildfire, apparently. Could be strange evolutions of carnivorous plants.

(Enter the Re-remembered Cave)

Sir Hammerlock: Ah, there we are. I need the little ones; those big ones must be parents. Don't seem too friendly, do they? Oh well -- as they say, to make an omelette, you'll need to murder things.

(Fighting adult threshers)

Sir Hammerlock: What ho, those fellows do like to slap you around a bit, don't they?

(Having killed 6 adult threshers)

Sir Hammerlock: Now try catching a few of the little ones. Be sure to keep them alive. Somehow. Maybe freezing them will slow them down and allow you to snatch them up.

(Killing a thresher)

Sir Hammerlock: No no no, I said, catch. As in living. Dead specimens won't work. Try freezing them, you should be able to pluck them out of the ice.

(Thresher unfreezes)

Sir Hammerlock: See, now if they thaw out, then they start flailing around again. You'll need to pick them up BEFORE that happens or they'll happily smack you into oblivion.

(Freezing a thresher)

Sir Hammerlock: Now grab it! It's not kidapping if their parents are dead. Then it's called "adoption"!

(Collecting a thresher)

Sir Hammerlock: Perfect! They're quite adorable, aren't they? Try not to feed them, either, they look hungry.

(Freezing and collecting a second thresher)

Sir Hammerlock: Now that you have the specimens in your possession, you must send them to me. I have an old boyfriend named Seymour that runs a horrid little shop out of a rocket. Take the threshers to him and he'll be able to smuggle them off Elpis and down to Pandora's surface.

(Talk to Seymour)

Seymour: You didn't feed one, did you? Plant them in the rocket.

(After launching rocket)

Sir Hammerlock: The parcel tracking application on this ECHO device indicates the rocket will be delivered right on schedule! Vault Hunter, talk to Seymour again and he will convey your reward.

(After turn in)

Sir Hammerlock: Bad news, Vault Hunter. I tried to feed one -- I've named him Terry -- but it turns out he's acquired a taste for Pandoran flesh! I do hope I haven't disrupted the delicate ecosystem of Pandora by introducing a new species... Ah, pish-posh. At least they're tiny buggers!