Clan War: First Place/Transcript

Mick Zaford: You gonna help me get dem Hodunk bastards? Good. If there's anything they love more than gettin' to second base with their sisters, it's cars. I want ya to get out there and ruin their race. Come into me basement.

Mick Zaford: You picked the right family in this war, boyo. Ages back, one of the Hodunks drowned a few Zaford boys in the creekbed. After an ex-Hodunk killed me boy Lucky a few years back, we made a truce - but after what happened to out distillery, it sounds like the war's back on.

(after picking up explosives)

Mick Zaford: There we are. Now get out to the Dust. I'll be up at the bar if ya need me.

Mick Zaford: Da Hodunks do one a' these races every so often. I want ya to place them charges on the fireworks they leave around the track - when they set off the fireworks, it'll make for some proper violence!

(Upon placing explosives?)

(Random Hodunk?): Hey - whatcha doin' down there? Double-checking all the fireworks? It's cool, man, I already done that! Thanks, though!

(Upon placing all explosives)

Mick Zaford: Now that the dynamite's ready, head up to where the Hodunks got their pyrotech set up. It'll be a great place to watch the destruction.

(Upon finding vantage point)

Mick Zaford: Kill that pyrotech. No witnesses.

Hodunk Pyrotechnician: Ba dand dang doo... what are you doin' up here? Come to wish me luck when I set off those fireworks? Man, when those dudes drive by and are all NYROWWW and I hit the fireworks and it's like KABOOSH and the ladies are all like YEAAAH, it just never gets better than that. Except that one time I tied two cats together and used 'em like a skippin' rope. Blood and fur everywhere!

(Upon killing pyrotech)

Announcer: It's RACE TIME, Hodunks! THREE! TWO! ONE! BUUUUURN RUBBER!

Mick Zaford: The race is startin'! Blow the dynamite once the cars reach 'em!

Announcer: The cars have just reached the roundabout! I can hardly believe my eyes!

Ellie: Whoo-ee Good job, sweetheart - I saw those explosions from here! Get back to my garage and we'll see if we can't the Hodunks get some revenge for their messed-up racetrack.

(After turning in mission with Ellie)

Ellie: After this red harvest between the two clans, you're gonna be the last man standing with a fistfull of dollars! Yo, jimbo.