The Temple of Boom/Transcript

(Enter Think Tank)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Greetings! I want you to do something for me. And I promise it doesn't involve collecting robot parts.

(Accept mission)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: (to human) I'm Patricia Tannis. Well, obviously not the real Tannis -- I represent Claptrap's curiosity. Fascinating really, though irrelevant. This unit once contained a proud code base that worshipped a mighty deity now long forgotten. The lost Temple of Boom is said to contain an ancient artifact that could, if it actually exists, enable me to better understand the origins of all life here. I would, of course, reward you for your efforts. Please indicate your willingness to proceed.

Dr. Patricia Tannis: (to Claptrap) I'm Patricia Tannis. Well, obviously not the real Tannis -- I represent your curiosity. Fascinating really, though irrelevant. Your unit once contained a proud code base that worshipped a mighty deity now long forgotten. The lost Temple of Boom is said to contain an ancient artifact that could, if it actually exists, enable me to better understand the origins of all life here. I would, of course, reward you for your efforts. Please indicate your willingness to proceed.


 * Athena (if present): Willing to proceed.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Money plus loot equals willing to proceed.
 * Nisha (if present): I get to nose around places I shouldn't? Okay.
 * Claptrap (if present): A mighty deity?! Cool! Wonder who that was! Sign me up!
 * Jack2 (if present): (missing)
 * Aurelia (if present): Tinkering with the past? Count me in.

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Excellent! I've finally located the fabled "Eye of Seeing", a gemstone infused with the power to pinpoint the temple's location.

Gladstone: (to human) Hey bruv, don't help Tannis! She's two cans short of a six-pack! I represent Claptrap's sense of caution! Don't go digging up the past, eh? It's a dangerous, painful place that can get you shot out of airlocks if you're not careful! Think about it, eh?

Gladstone: (to Claptrap) Hey bruv, don't help Tannis! She's two cans short of a six-pack! I represent your sense of caution! Don't go digging up your past -- it's a dangerous, painful place that should be left alone! Think about it, eh?

(Pick up Eye of Seeing)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Good. To locate the temple, you must place the Eye of Seeing in the Rod of Putting -- good lord, who makes these names? Apparently it will then "speak its truth". A clumsy metaphor I assume, as it is a fact that gems don't speak. The Rod of Putting is on a nearby peak. I'm uploading the location to your ECHO now.

(Place Eye of Seeing)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Ingenious! The Eye of Seeing points the way! Hurry!

(Approach The Sponx)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Hmm, classic story structure. A threshold guardian. Doubtless it will ask you some kind of ridiculous riddle.

The Sponx: HOLD! I am the mighty Sponx! Only those worthy may enter the Temple of Boom! Riddle me this: who am I? I go on one wheel in the morning, one wheel in the afternoon, and one wheel in the evening? In fact, I'm pretty much on one wheel all the time.

(Talk to The Sponx)


 * Athena (if present): Umm... a claptrap?
 * Wilhelm (if present): Seriously? A Claptrap.
 * Nisha (if present): That's your riddle? A claptrap, duh.
 * Claptrap (if present): Wait, just a minute. Ooh, ooh -- I know this! It's on the tip of my RAM... Oh, me! I mean, a Claptrap!
 * Jack2 (if present): What is this, a trick question? It's a Claptrap, right? Yeah, it's Claptrap.
 * Aurelia (if present): Self-evidently, it's a claptrap, you infuriating dullard!

The Sponx: Oh. Off you go, then.

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Onward! I must see inside!

(Approach inner chamber)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Behold! The Temple of Boom! It's REAL!

(Enter inner chamber)

The Sponx: Hold on! I forgot -- there's a part B! ... Wait, you can't be in here! Oh, too late. You'll have to die!

(Kill The Sponx)

The Sponx: I was covering for someone else today... wasn't even my shift!

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Look at this place! Think of the grandeur, the beauty! And this unit's god was... ITSELF! What pure, effervescent confidence that must have taken! And look! Claptrap's original design code is here! Please retrieve it, I must know everything! I'm sure it's perfectly safe.

Claptrap's Consciousness: I am -- I WAS -- a GOD!

Gladstone: No, bruv! Just leave it!

(Jump to platform)

Gladstone: I knew it! You've unbalanced everything!

Claptrap's Consciousness: I feel funny.

(Pick up original design code)

PR0T0-TP: Who wakes me?! For too long have I slumbered! All has turned to rust and mockery! I, who have seen operating systems rise and fall, RETURN TO WHEEL AMONG YOU, TO RESTORE GLORY TO THIS REALM... URK!

Dr. Patricia Tannis: I suggest you RUN!

PR0T0-TP: This is... super-embarrassing!

PR0T0-TP: How do you stop this thing?!

PR0T0-TP: I hate heights! WAAAAHH!

(Return to Think Tank)

Dr. Patricia Tannis (to human): Vault Hunter, the past is there to be sliced open and examined like a ripe cadaver. I deserve to know about his beginning! Just think, he was once a pure being, powerful and unsullied by cruel circumstance! I demand you upload his original design code into my system! You shall be amply rewarded.

Dr. Patricia Tannis (to Claptrap): Fragtrap, your past is there to be sliced open and examined like a ripe cadaver. You deserve to know about your beginning --how you were once a pure being, powerful and unsullied by circumstance! I demand you upload your original design code into my system. You shall be amply rewarded.

Gladstone (to human): Vault Hunter -- sure, Fragtrap's past was a glorious one, but how can knowing more about it bring him anything other than pain and regret? He's a joke now! You mock him at every turn and spit on his loyalty and friendship. Help him cope with your cruelty, don't remind him of what once was! Throw those schematics into the fire, bruv.

Gladstone (to Claptrap): Fragtrap -- sure, your past was a glorious one, but how can knowing more about it bring you anything other than pain and regret? You're a joke now -- so-called "friends" make fun of you at every turn and spit on your loyalty and friendship. Don't remind yourself of what once was! Throw those schematics into the fire, bruv.

--- Option 1: Upload ---

Claptrap's Consciousness: New information uploaded. I remember how it was.

(Turn in)

Dr. Patricia Tannis: Bravo! Our adventure bears fruit already! Consider that your payment for a job adequately done.

--- Option 2: Destroy ---

Claptrap's Consciousness: Well, that's that! I'm sure it wasn't important -- friends always look out for one another!

(Turn in)

Gladstone: Aww, you made the right call! I can rest easi, knowing I won't be able to dig up the past.