Eradicate!/Transcript

(to do: missing quotes from Dlaptrap and Aurelia)

(Accept mission)

Tassiter: Hello, idiot. One of my lackeys had an idea, which I've decided to improve. I need you to collect a laser drill, a control interface, and a sensor array. Don't ask why. Just accept that I'm smarter than you and I know what I'm doing.

Tassiter: Head to the Veins of Helios to get started.

(Pick up laser)

Tassiter: Good. That laser drill will do... something, I'm told.

(Pick up cranial interface)

Tassiter: That cranial interface will allow these robots to think -- a power that not everyone in this conversation possesses. Find one.

(Pick up sensor array)

Tassiter: You've found a sensor array. I'd explain what it does, but every breath I expend talking to you is one I could have used to spit at my secretary.

(Pick up last piece)

Tassiter: You will now scan those parts into the bot fabrication machine. It's in Central Maintenance.

(Scan all parts)

Tassiter: You've scanned everything. Now, assemble the bot. It's time for an upgrade.

(Use console)

Tassiter: You follow orders unthinkingly. I like that in a worker.

Tassiter: There's an infested Dahl soldier in a nearby quarantine zone. Lead my new bot to the soldier, then let it do what it does best. Though you may be tempted, do not die on the way.

CL4P-L3K: I DISLIKE THINGS!


 * Athena (if present): It's attacking us!
 * Wilhelm (if present): It's insane!
 * Nisha (if present): The bot's trying to kill me!
 * Claptrap (if present): It's trying to kill me!
 * Jack2 (if present): Whoah, they're ATTACKING me!
 * Aurelia (if present): They seem to be attacking me!

Tassiter: And? Just keep it protected on its way to the soldier. I don't care how many holes it blows in you, DO NOT DESTROY IT!

(Escort CL4P-L3K)

Tassiter: My bot will kill the infected Dahl soldier, and in so doing keep investor confidence high. I tell you this only so I can enjoy the dull drone of your brain cells as they try to comprehend the number of syllables I'm using.


 * Athena (if present): You are very rude.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Dick. Anybody wanna pay me a quarter to kill that guy?
 * Nisha (if present): Cool. I'm going to murder you if I get the chance, just so you know.
 * Claptrap (if present): (missing)
 * Jack2 (if present): God, I hope Jack gets you fired, or like... yells at you, or something.
 * Aurelia (if present): Oh, look! He's trying to be condescending. Precious.

CL4P-L3K: IF YOU LIKE SOMETHING I DO NOT, YOU ARE STUPID!

CL4P-L3K: AFTER THIS I WILL POST MEAN-SPIRITED COMMENTS ON ECHONET ARTICLES!

CL4P-L3K: EVERYTHING SUCKS! EVERYTHING MUST BE ERADICATED!

(CL4P-L3K takes damage)

Tassiter: Protect the prototype. That robot is like a child to me, except I care about it!

Tassiter: Be careful with the robot!

Tassiter: That robot must remain standing!

Tassiter: Careful! That robot is worth more than the love your parents pretend to have for you!

(Approach Eghood)

Tassiter: There's the Dahl soldier -- just let my bot kill it.

(Vault Hunter killed Eghood)

Tassiter: You couldn't bear to NOT shoot something to death, could you? Pathetic.

(CL4P-L3K killed Eghood)

Tassiter: Good. Now restrain him in that area so my men can pick him up later.

CL4P-L3K: ERADICATE EVERYTHING. ERADICATE HYPERION. ERADICATE HAROLD TASSITER.

Tassiter: I'm sure that's patchable.

CL4P-L3K: ERADICATE VAULT HUNTERS!


 * Athena (if present): Hell with it, I'm destroying this thing.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Alright, that's it. Much as I like your upgrades, you're going to robot hell.
 * Nisha (if present): Screw it -- time to die, robot.
 * Claptrap (if present): I have had ENOUGH of your sass, mister!
 * Jack2 (if present): You know what?! I'm sick of your crap!
 * Aurelia (if present): (missing)

(Damage CL4P-L3K)

CL4P-L3K: NOT IMPRESSED!

(Secure CL4P-L3K)

Tassiter: I'm brilliant! Jack's designs are nothing compared to mine. Once I get the code monkeys to tweak its friend-or-foe mechanisms, it'll be perfect.

(Destroy CL4P-L3K)

Tassiter: You IDIOTS! I, I... I'm legally required to pay you for helping me build those in the first place. So, please return to the bounty board for your... reward.

(Turn in)

Tassiter: Here's your reward. Choke on it.