Things That Go Boom/Transcript

(Accept mission)

Jack: Hey. I've been tinkering with a new AI routine for our loader buddies. Need to test it out, though -- go ahead and find me a robot and get it to a recharge station so I can upload the new hotness.

(Approach loader)

Jack: There's one! Just send him to a charging station so I can completely destroy his personality and give him a new one. But, like, y'know -- not in an evil way.

(Activate loader)

Loader: Returning to charging station.

Jack: Alright, just follow him and make sure he gets there safe.

(Loader is damaged)

Jack: They're damaging the bot!

(Loader reaches charge station)

Loader: Docking with charge station.

Jack: Alrighty! I'm uploading his new AI...

Loader: Downloading new AI. Dahl soldiers detected.

Jack: Friggin' figures. Just protect him until it's done.

(During download)

Loader: AI download at twenty percent.

Loader: AI download at forty percent.

Loader: AI download at sixty percent.

Loader: AI download at eighty percent.

Loader: AI download complete.

Jack: Just run the new program on the loader to test it out. Time for him to show his swag.

Loader: NEW AI INSTALLED. I... FEEL... THE POWERRRRRRRRRRRRR. (explodes)

Jack: That... kinda worked? Actually, now the AI is in the system so I can just... tweak the code. All the bots in the area should have a less-stupid version of that program. Go activate a few and they should do something awesome.

(Activate loader #1)

Loader: SEEKING TARGETS.

Jack: Perfect! Any maintenance bot you see from now on will do that if you just activate 'em! Anyway, come on back when you're done.

(Activate loader #3)

Loader: BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Player Character: Weyo! (All characters have the same text)

(Turn in)

Tassiter: Jack, did you just submit a request for a patent on... exploding, suicidal robots? What the hell are you thinking?

Jack: Thaaaaat it'd be awesome?