Chip's Data Mining Adventure/Transcript

(Approach Chip)

Chip: Yo! Hey, YO! Over here! Y’wanna help a poor cookie out?

(Accept mission)

Chip: Me and the boys here are, uh… entrepreneurs, like. Make our dough digging up tasty personal data chunks from our host unit. Sure, we shouldn’t be here, but that’s just how we do. But now there’s some crazy I-don’t-know-what down there SICK ENOUGH to try make a meal of us! You look like you could hold your own. How’s about you do us a solid and see if you can’t rip that thing a new one?


 * Athena (if present): I’ll see what I can do.


 * Nisha (if present): Yeah, sounds like a chance to shoot something.


 * Wilhelm (if present): If you pay, yeah.


 * Claptrap (if present): Leave it to me, pal. I’m all over this!


 * Jack2 (if present): Yeah, sure, I can do that.


 * Aurelia (if present): (missing)

Chip: Friggin’ A, for reals? That’s awesome! Just follow the crumbs, and they’ll get you where you need to go.

(Approach mine entrance)

Chip: Ol’ Snicker-D left that trail -- dragged his own broken self all the ways out here to us, crumbs rippin’ off him the whole way! Just so’s he could bite the big one out in the light. Guy was the best of his batch! I’ll miss him!

(Enter mine)

Chip: And look -- if you happen to find any data files down there, do me a favor, will ya, and bring ‘em back?

Chip: Hey, keep your weapon ready. You’re sure as hell gonna need it.

(Approach third data file)

Chip: Looks like you’re getting close. Now you got two choices -- you can be ready, or you can be dead.

(Approach final data file)

Chip: That’s the end of the trail, eh? Must be where Snicker-D got the fatal bite. Alright -- secure the area, me and the boys’ll come meet you.

(Pick up data file)

Shame: Stop! This private! Steal files bad! Why you here?

(Talk to Shame)


 * Athena (if present): There’s a guy up top says you’ve been killing his men. I’m investigating.


 * Nisha (if present): Someone’s been killing data miners, and I’m here to find out who.


 * Wilhelm (if present): Some guy with a cookie for a face sent me down here.


 * Claptrap (if present): Hey, pal! Believe me -- I’ve got EVERY RIGHT to be here!


 * Jack2 (if present): You’re screwin’ up business for a guy on top. Yeah, here to put a stop to that.


 * Aurelia (if present): (missing)

Chip: This is what’s been mistaking my team for food? You got some sick eating-habits, buddy, you know that?! We got rights!

Shame: Cookie steal private files for money! No rights! Want blast something?! Blast tasty, thieving cookies!

Chip: Don’t listen to it! A guy’s got a right to work, don’t he?! This thing’s a killer and needs to be stopped!

-- Option 1: Kill Shame --

(Attack Shame)

Shame: SHAME ANGRY! SHAME DELETE YOU!

Chip: That’s it, buddy! This is for the guys!

Shame: AGGGHHHHH!

(Kill Shame)

Shame: Dying so embarrassing…

(Turn in)

Chip: Thanks for your help. Boy, you try to illegally mine a bit of private data and the world goes nuts! If a system wanted its stuff private, they shoulda used better security!

-- Option 2: Kill data mining cookies --

(Attack data mining cookies)

Chip: Hey, pal! We’re unarmed here! Get the hell outta here, guys!

(Kill Chip)

Chip: Don’t worry, guys… I’m off to the big glass of milk in the sky…

(Turn in)

Shame: You did good crunching on greedy cookies. They gone! Now you no talk about what you see here!