Dr. Zed/Quotes

Borderlands

 * "I keep the medical equipment working - more or less."
 * "Just tell me if you need anything."
 * "Well I'm not much for compliments but--you did fine"
 * "I think we're done here."
 * "Well, that should cover it, kid."
 * "You got what you need, now scram."
 * You know what you need to know."

Borderlands 2
Reminder
 * "Hey -- Zed here. I need somethin' done, uh, discreetly. Could you stop by my place in Sanctuary?"

Idle
 * "Thanks for comin' around, by the by. Most folks don't spend much time around me, 'cause I seen more contagious diseases than the space 'twixt Moxxi's legs."
 * "You wouldn't happen to be in the market for a few spare torsos, would ya? No? Eh, worth a shot."
 * "All these entrails are makin' me want a burger. That weird? That might be weird."
 * "Those kidneys you got on ya could do with some improvin'. I could upgrade 'em, if ya got the scratch."
 * "Lot of people wonder how I lost my med school degree. I ain't gonna tell ya, I just wanted you to know people are curious, is all."
 * "Uh, you an organ donor? You SHOULD be an organ donor."
 * "I'll never forget what my paw told me: Above all else, do no harm. Course, he was cuttin' open a live midget at the time, but it's the thought that counts."
 * "Don't forget to come back to me anytime you're in town. No reason not to get full healin' before you head back out there."
 * "You're lookin' kinda woozy. Why don't you sit down?"
 * "If Marcus sent you, tell him to suck it. Any of his guns I get from a dead patient belong to me."

Turn in
 * "Great job!"
 * "Hey, ya did it!"
 * "Thanks for doin' that for me."

Radio announcements
 * "Come on down to Zed's Medical Supplies. Like I always say: Better Zed than dying. Oh wait, I wrote that down wrong. Better dead! Better Zed than dead. Thank you."
 * "I'm Zed. If you get shot, I'll heal ya! Oh wow, I really should have written down more, I guess. Oh well. Say, how much time do I needta fill? 30 seconds? Okay, well... I'm Zed. If you get shot, I'm all ya got!"
 * "Come on down to..."
 * "Doctor Zed is not a licensed physician. His use of the word doctor is purely for aesthetic and stylistic effect -- see also: Pepper, Dre, Octopus. Zed will not be held accountable for anything that might befall patients under his care."
 * "Doctor Zed's Medical's Supplies! Heh."

Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary
While idle

Some of the idle chats are mission related and can't be heard again once the mission in question is completed.
 * "Everyone's losing their minds about these plant-monsters, but this is what we in the for-profit medical field call a crisi-tunity!"
 * "Those New Pandorans better not be messing with my stuff up there. I got a lot of delicate equipment and ill-begotten organs to worry about."
 * "You think Tannis knows that I... you know, exist?"
 * "These nightmarish mutants are giving me some really great ideas. Growin' thorny vines outta a human body? Just think of the possibilities."
 * "Visit my vending machine if you need anything. I left all my samples up on Sanctuary. Unless you want some of this apron blood. It's human. Probably."
 * "I really can't thank you enough. My infirmary was chock full of incriminating DNA evid -- I mean... uh... well, I can't think of another word right now so let's just pretend I wasn't gonna say evidence."
 * "Guess this means I'll have less folks to patch up. Sounds good to me. Just between us, I'm incredibly lazy."
 * "Shame I couldn't be the one to figure out a cure for this thing. Coulda turned a tidy profit. Maybe it's time for me to finally get my medical license reinstated..."