Do No Harm/Transcript

(Vault Hunter enters Dr. Zed's clinic)

(Intro scene Dr. Zed)

(Title card for Dr. Zed: Do No Harm)

Dr. Zed: Hey! Roland's boys caught this Hyperion jerkbag tryin' to sneak into the city. Looks like they messed up his lungs -- dude needs surgey bad. Get over here -- you're gonna be my operatin' assistant.

(Vault Hunter approaches the "patient")

Dr. Zed: Alright. Make a small incision just below his sternum but be careful -- we don't want to nick his coronary artery.

(Vault Hunter performs "surgery", Eridium shard pops out of the "patient's" body and falls down on the floor)

Dr. Zed (not subtitled): Full stop!

Dr. Zed: An Eridium shard? Aw, fer -- how many times I tell you idiots? You caan't get slag powers by swallowin' this stuff! That shard ain't no good in the Black Market -- it isn't refined yet. You could probably take it to that Tannis lady on the other side of the towm. She's real into that Eridium stuff, when she ain't actin' all hoity-toitycause she's got a "real" doctorate. Oh, and lemme know if you're lookin' for work -- I got stuff needs doin'.

(As Vault Hunter picks up the shard ..)

Dr. Zed: Hgghh ... god as my witness, one day I will find a usable spleen.

(Vault Hunter heads over to Dr. Tannis)

(Intro scene Dr. Tannis)

(Title card for Dr. Tannis: Insane(ly smart))

Dr. Tannis: Wait, you're not Roland, or even of close facial symmetry. However, you've brought Eridium, and thus I can feel my loins skitter forth from retirement. Oh, don't give me overshare face! Hand it over.

Dr. Tannis: After hours of scientific insanity you could only imagine in your dreams - or in my bed, standing offer -- I have deduced that Jack, the Vault Key, and the Eridium are all connected on a deeper level.

(As Vault Hunter turns in the mission to Dr. Tannis ...)

Dr. Zed: Come on back whenever ya need some healin'. Long as you ain't scared of a little tetanus, anyways.