The Bestest Story Ever Told/Transcript

(Accept mission)

Tiny Tina: Hello there, Athena! Yo soy Tiny Tina. And this is my big brudder, Brick!

Brick: Man, will you PLEASE stop calling me that? It's weird.

Tiny Tina: I heard you were telling stories. I wanna hear one!

Athena: What would you like to hear? The death of Knoxx? The fall of New Ha--

Tiny Tina: --Ooh, ooh! Nevermind! I got a better idea! Tell me a story about... A RAID BOSS!

Athena: I don't know what that is.

Brick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T... HOW DO YOU NOT...

Tiny Tina: Sshh, baby, shh, shshshshhh. Your big sister's got this. Ahem. Then, Athena and her three other pals went to the inner core of the moooon.

Athena: Do I have to go with friends? I can't just do it alone?

Brick: Not unless you wanna die. Or you found a broken-ass combination of loot, and you wanna show off on the ECHOnet.

(Approach center of Eleseer)

Tiny Tina: Okay, Athena. Your turn. Generally, you gotta put Eridium into some mysterious thingies to summon the raid boss. Go ahead and say that.

Athena: We didn't have Eridium, so we, uh -- put Moonstones. Into some "thingies".

Tiny Tina: You can spend all the Moon-whatevers yourself, or spread the cost amongst ya budz. That's friendship. That's buds.

(Spend 20 Moonstones)

Tiny Tina: Yaaaay, you put Moonstones into the thingies! Now go fight the raid boss with your friends, yaaaay!

Athena: You're SURE I can't just go alone?

Tiny Tina: You can, but... (singing) You-will-die. Oh you'll so-very-die. You'll die-die-die and you'll make-me-cry. BRICK, SING WITH ME!

Brick: Nah.

Tiny Tina: I hate my big brother.

(Enter rift)

Tiny Tina: What happened next? What happened next?!

Athena: We fought a... Raid? Boss?

Tiny Tina: Yaaay!

(Cutscene)

(The Sentinel enters through the rift and descends to the ground.)

(Title card: The Sentinel -- Guardian of the Vault)

(The Sentinel materializes a large axe and prepares for attack.)

(End cutscene)

(Defeat Invincible Empyrean Sentinel)

Tiny Tina: Did you win? DID YOU WIN?!

Athena: Yes. After I grabbed all the loot I could hold, I went back to the bounty board to complete my mission.

Tiny Tina: Woo-WOO!

(Turn in)

Athena: I turned the mission in, pulse still racing from the thrill of the battle. But my bloodlust had not been sated -- I could always go back and fight the raid boss again.

Tiny Tina: Ooooh. That makes no narrative sense but I liiiike it.