The Cold Shoulder/Transcript

Scooter: Hey, you met my girl Laney? She perfect, man: blonde, great body, distantly related to me, great body -- but them Fridge rats brainwashed her. You gotta snap her outta that cannibalism crap! I don't wanna get bit! Bring Laney her favorite flowers and food, and I'm sure she'll come around and stop bitin'.

Scooter: Oh, and if you find any porno mags -- I'm just sayin' if you come across them in a natural-like sense -- just snag those for me too, okay?

(Mission objective update: Collect flowers for Laney, Bonus objective: Find girly magazines.)

(Vault Hunter travels to The Fridge. On Frigid Cleft he collects girly magazines for Scooter. He then proceeds to Icemaw Grotto where he collects flowers.)

Scooter: Yeah, Laney loves bladeflowers, man.

(Mission objective update: Collect food for Laney. Vault Hunter collects a pizza slice.)

Scooter: I bet Laney'll stop cravin' human flesh soon as she smells them slices. Why would anyone ever be a cannibal so long as pizza exists?

(With all 5 pizza slices collected ...)

Scooter: Looks like you got whatcha need to un-brainwash Laney. That's a word now.

(Mission objective update: Un-brainwash Laney)

(Vault Hunter goes over to the Rats Maze entrance where he places food and flowers.)

Laney: Flowerssss? Pizza? It is sssso kind of you to bring me such giftssss... perhaps I was wrong to join the ratssss.

Scooter: That's my girl! I knew you'd come back to me sooner or later!

Laney: Wasss that SSSCOOTER?! Why do you think I fled here?! It was the only place Sssssscooter would not follow me with his sssstupid advancessss!

(Rats Maze entrance gate opens, Laney shows up ...)

Laney: IF SSSSSCOOTER SENT YOU, YOU MUST DIE!

(Mission objective update: Kill Laney)

(As the Vault Hunter fights Laney, midget rats start popping out of the hatches ...)

Scooter: Who the hell are those little dudes? Laney's been shackin' up with tiny folk?! That I can NOT abide! Wipe those dwarves out, man!

Laney: HISSSSSSSS! I CAN TASTE YOUR MUSK!

(Vault Hunter kills Laney.)

Scooter: I'ma go ahead and blame all that rage on the bein'-turned-into-a-rat thing, uh, and less on the Scooter-was-a-bad-boyfriend thing. Uh, easier for everybody that way, see? Uh, still, we tried. Come on back.

(Vault Hunter kills Laney's midgets then returns to Sanctuary where he turns in the mission to Scooter.)

Scooter: Friggin' rats, man. I was THIS close to findin' out what second base feels like. And also what second base is!