The Sum of Some Fears/Transcript

to do: Aurelia’s quotes

(Turn handle three times)

Jack-in-the-Box: BOO! Haaa, never gets old! Hey, you wanna see something really scary?

(Accept mission)


 * Jack-in-the-Box (to human): Great! We’re gonna play out this sad widdle wobot’s greatest fear! It’s gonna be hilarious!
 * Jack-in-the-Box (to Claptrap): Great! We’re gonna play out your greatest fear! It’ll be hilarious!


 * Jack-in-the-Box (to human): Let’s dig deep into Clappy’s little mind, if you can call it that. Now, where is his deepest fear?
 * Jack-in-the-Box (to Claptrap): Let’s dig deep into your mind, if you can call it that. Now, where’s your deepest fear?

Jack-in-the-Box: Let’s see what we can find! Open it, open it!

(Pull lever)

Jack-in-the-Box: Stairs! How super-terrifying! But COME ON, we can do better than that. Open it! Open it!

Jack-in-the-Box: C’mon, open it! I’m dying! Open it!

(Pull lever)

CL4P-TP: Helloooo traveler!

Jack-in-the-Box: HAHAHA! He’s afraid of himself! We can do better than that though, right?!

Jack-in-the-Box: Okay, so -- what do we got?

(Pull lever)

Jack-in-the-Box: That doesn’t look scary at all. System says it’s the deepest fear here… So go in! Let’s see what it is!

(Approach T.K. Baha’s Shack)


 * Jack-in-the-Box (to human): Still not scary! Man, even Claptrap’s worst nightmare is busted!
 * Jack-in-the-Box (to Claptrap): Still isn’t scary! Not scary! Man! Even your worst nightmare is broken!


 * Jack-in-the-Box (to human): Well, maybe talking to that broken-down redneck’ll spice things up.
 * Jack-in-the-Box (to Claptrap): Well, roll on over to that broke-ass redneck and see if he can’t spice things up a bit.

(Talk to T.K. Baha)


 * T.K. Baha (to human): Who’s there? You smell like money and violence! Hehehehe!
 * T.K. Baha (to Claptrap): Who’s there? You smell kinda like… sadness and regret. That’s weird.


 * Athena (if present): Uh, I’m a friend.
 * Nisha (if present): Ha, they should bottle that! I’d buy it.
 * Wilhelm (if present): My two favorite things.
 * Claptrap (if present): I’m a robot inside a robot, if you can believe that!
 * Jack2 (if present): Yeah, came for the first, got the second. Life’s a cruel mistress.
 * Aurelia (if present): Eau de Gen-viev does contain certain undertones -- bravo!

T.K. Baha: Well, it’s been forever since anyone came by. Today’s the anniversary I lost my beloved Marian to that damned skag.

T.K. Baha: Say, could you do me a favor? My little schnitzel loved these flowers called “Desert’s Kiss”. Almost as gorgeous as she was. Would mean a lot if you could fill the vase on that there shrine with ‘em.

(Pick up last flower)

T.K. Baha: Yep, smells like you gone and found it, hehehe! Bring it on back to me!

Jack-in-the-Box: Things had better get scary soon, I’m super bored!

(Place flowers)

T.K. Baha: Holy cow, you done did it! Thank you so much, hehehe! You are quite the little helper!


 * Athena (if present): I am not! You’re welcome.
 * Nisha (if present): Whatevs.
 * Wilhelm (if present): Heh, no problem.
 * Claptrap (if present): Thank you, sir!
 * Jack2 (if present): No problemo! Was actually kinda fun.
 * Aurelia (if present): (missing)

T.K. Baha: Marian would’ve loved to meet you! Darlin’, I miss you every day. I pray I see you again REAL soon, hehehe!

Jack-in-the-Box: Oh, COME ON! Claptrap’s worst fear is being ALONE? That’s it? I was at least expecting tentacles!

T.K. Baha: Naw, see -- I’m his fear of OTHER PEOPLE’S loneliness! His heart doesn’t point inwards to himself, but reaches outwards, to others.

Jack-in-the-Box: Pfft. Okay.

Claptrap’s Consciousness: Okay, enough is enough!

Claptrap’s Consciousness: T.K. just wants his wife back -- is that TOO much to ask? Know what? This is my mind, and I’ll have things any way I want! Hhnnnrrrrggh! HRRRRNGHH!

T.K. Baha: Marian?! Holy skag crap! C’mere, lil’ darlin’!

Marian: Oh Teddy! I’ve missed you, mine little squirrel!

Jack-in-the-Box: Oh, please, I’m gonna vomit! We all know how this needs to end, so, let’s make some corrections, people!

Hyperion: Attention, all intruders: please prepare for extermination. Thank you for your cooperation.

Claptrap’s Consciousness: VAULT HUNTER, SAVE THEM!


 * Athena (if present): I stand ready!
 * Nisha (if present): Wouldn’t miss it for the world!
 * Wilhelm (if present): Why the hell not.
 * Claptrap (if present): You bet your ass I will!
 * Jack2 (if present): Sure! Sounds like a blast.
 * Aurelia (if present): (missing)

T.K. Baha: It’s all right Marian, I’ll keep you safe!

T.K. Baha: They won’t take you, Schnitzel! NOT THIS TIME!

Jack-in-the-Box: Finally! A little meat for my fear sandwich!

Hyperion: The system had been infiltrated. All protocols activate murder, martyr, and manslaughter subroutines.

Claptrap’s Consciousness: Oh, NO! Not THESE guys!

(Kill enemies)

T.K. Baha: You’ve no idea how happy I am! Hehehe… I’ve got my Marian back, and all is right with the world! I’d kick up my heels if I wasn’t afraid of my leg flying off, hehehe! Thank you, thank you and thank you!

(Turn in)

Claptrap’s Consciousness: Hey, thanks for helping out back there. Sure, those guys aren’t real, but being in my subconscious must be the next best thing, right?